abyss. Nothing to hold on to, all is slipping and sliding through my fingers like sand. Sinking
in the vortex, sick in what I think is my stomach, the whirlwinds are swallowing me whole.
The last thing I remember, I had my hands on the ridge, hanging from the big flat rock, my
fingerprints must still be on the stone. I don’t know what happened. Now wind blowing in my
ears, going on and on. Stark smell of metal or blood and a roaring I’ve never heard before.
And it is dark all around.
Is this the belly of the beast? The end of times? The new world?
There is nothing and nothingness. Just darkness and falling and roaring. I strain to curl my
body into a fetus, my head in my arms. I still have a body, a body that is moving with
Where am I? Who am I? What the fuck! How long has this been going on? How is this going
to end? I try and stretch my body, spread my arms and legs like I am flying.
I am flying in a way, just dropping with enormous speed too. I move my arms back and
stretch my legs and I seem to be moving forward somewhat. It’s hard to tell, because of the
vast darkness. Then I realise my eyes are shut hard. When I try to open them just a tiny bit, I
understand why. The wind of the speed is cutting in them so painfully, that it’s impossible to
Fuck me! What the fuck is happening? The dizziness is overwhelming and I feel nauseated.
Then the light flashes start, violent luminescent blue, like lightning in my eyes. My brain feels
like it’s splitting open. Unbearable pain everywhere.
Then all of a sudden all is still. Like I slashed through a veil into another world. Whiteness
everywhere and divine silence. All sound has stopped in this instant.
It’s like I’m in a world made of snow, all white and silent, but not cold. It’s like there is no
temperature. If anything it is pleasant. I’m not falling anymore. If I even still have a body, it is
floating like mist.
There is clarity, so much clarity about what is. I am this.