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Sit down, conspiritualists! by Becca

4/23/2020

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Sit down, conspiritualists!

You people out there protesting in the streets right now are a disgusting display of white privilege at its finest. You don’t seem to understand the luxury of choice. Here in the West, majority of white people do not have to make choices. They HAVE choices.

Sit down, conspiritualists!

You think you’re woke from traveling the world. Surrounding yourself with lots of Europeans, Canadians and Americans all casually appropriating whatever third world culture you volunteered to enter. You complained to your Burmese servers about how expensive your plate of noodles was at the bungalow while texting friends on both an iPhone and iPad. You scoffed at the Indians for spitting on the street while you wore a red Bindhi between your eyebrows. You yelled at a server at a food stall in Singapore for putting curry in the curry rice your boyfriend ordered and demanded to speak to his manager.

The world is not against you! You don’t have to make choices. You HAVE choices!

So, sit down conspiritualists!

Your cringeworthy behavior displays all the entitled ignorance you wear like an invisible ball gown.

Work in the third world, and maybe you will start to understand choice and just how much privilege you possess.

A Bangladeshi might call you on it. He may scoff that you’re a rich American and ask why you are working with him. Tell him with full pompousness that you have a right to work there just as much as he does. When he asks who you send your money to each month, and if you pay for your parents and siblings to live, how will you answer?

Will you admit that all the money you make will go towards your next trip to tour another third world country and not to support your family, or your neighbors, or even that Bangladeshi colleague whom you claim to be the same as.

Sit down, conspiritualists!

It’ll hit you like a ton of bricks. You are there by choice. You can leave at any point and be taken care of by your status as an American citizen. Free to enter most countries without a visa. Free to work. Free to get all the entitled luxuries in the third world just because of the color of your skin, your body type, your nationality. You hit the fucking jackpot being born into an upper middle class white American family, but you don’t see that. In fact, you feel a major sense of lack and discontent.

Because you have choices.
More choices, More entitled.

Sit down, conspiritualists!

You got sick and cried, WHY ME?
The better question is, why NOT me?

What makes you so special? What makes your life more valuable than your neighbors or the elders in your community?

Sit down, conspiritualists!

You  can’t see the connection. This American ideology that individual freedoms are the most important value on the planet, is just fucking short-sighted and crazy. It has nothing to do with the interconnectedness of humanity. It disregards our neighbors. It disregards people who don’t have a choice and are suffering.

Sit down, conspiritualists!

Stop dressing up conspiracy theories in new age jargon and then proclaiming that I am a sheep for vaccinating my child or believing in the seriousness of a pandemic. Don’t tell me that fear is more contagious than a pathogen. Fear is a personal emotional response to stimuli and no one can make you experience a specific feeling unless it is already within your world view.

So, sit down, conspiritualists!

Don’t assume I didn’t do my research. I did a shit ton of reading on both sides of the argument and at the end of the day, I reached the conclusion that I did not want to add to the suffering of someone without a choice. Because I understand the gift that I have a choice when others must make one

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Spider Feelings by Carl

4/11/2020

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I think I know who I am. 
Not many internal surprises left at this point. 
As for the why of it all, well….. years ago I reasoned that my mind was the natural development of a universe that desired self awareness. 
I’m willing to let it go at that, not to think about it anymore. 
Kinda boring on the outside. 
If I wanted to plague myself with haunting questions, I’d smoke some weed, and roll around in a self induced existential crisis. 
The last time I did that I wound up under the bed trying to hide from the TV,  feeling unease about meaning and choice. 
Existential anxiety reflects a deep angst that turns daily coping into a complex endeavor. 
Fortunately, in my case, something cold to drink ,and a bag of potato chips will make all of that go away.
Stop trying to pass me that fucking joint.
Why can’t I be nicer to people? 
In a bus station in a foreign land, a man sat next to me and asked if I like potatoes. Then he asked if I like corn. 
        I thought he was going to invite me to dinner. 
It was the only thing he knew how to say in english. We were hi-fiveing each other, 
yes bread, I love bread, 
how about beans? 
Do you like beans, beans are amazing.



I never saw him again, 


        but we’re friends for life.


When someone comes up to me at a party and says, how’s it goin? 


It’s kind of a dead end. 
I know that if I respond, and tell them , 
OH Man, I got high and hid under the bed, 
And the cat killed a rat in the bathroom and there was blood everywhere, 
And I got a new fishing pole so that’s cool. 
And then there’s this weird silence, 
And they say, so how’s everything else?
And, they slowly diffuse until I can’t see them anymore. 
So my answer becomes, yeah, everything’s cool, and we sip our drinks in awkward silence while I figure out how to avoid them in the future.
I don’t know, maybe I need to try harder on my end. Be more provocative. Ask how they feel about spiders. 
Everyone has some kind of feeling about spiders.
So if I’m asking about spiders, 
        I’m bored as fuck, 
        And I’m ready to start talking about planks, and quarks, and monads, and cosmogenesis and the origins of self consciousness.


Or I could just take a hit off that joint and wait under the bed for everyone to leave.
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