I Want my mind back
I want my mind back! What did I think about before this hideous pandemic? It's kind of like when I was pregnant, all I could think about was wow there is a baby in my womb. And all day long I'd be in baby land. Or when I had breast cancer and all I could think about was how can I heal, I want to live. Or when I had fantastic sex after a long dry spell and all my mind would do all day long is go back to particular moments; the hair pulling , the strategic bite, the breathing, on and on.
In the past the baby was born, the cancer was cured and the lover faded away. I want my mind back!
But this pandemic seems to change everything. I wake up heart pounding and all day it's there. I meditate and pray and exercise but it's still there. I try to be vigilant at night but it is still looming.
God help our planet, God help us please. I want my mind back!
It's so frustrating how unprepared out country is. The USA had time to start to prepare. To recommend social distancing in January not March. To give incentives to companies to make masks and protecting clothing for hospital workers, and even get the public prepared for closures. But human nature seems to prefer denial. It won't come to America. We are invincible. But it came and it's bloody scary and it isn't going away any time soon. WE are all vulnerable. We could be carriers, we could get sick, we could die .
I want my mind back! I want to think happy thoughts, see friends smile and do kind things for each other in person. I want to think about what to bring to the next pot luck, or how I can help a friend in need or maybe even fantasize about seeing that lover again.
I want my mind back! So please everyone wear a mask, do social distancing, stay home as much as possible, take vitamin C and D and immune boosters. Thank you everyone for all the fun things you post and the information on how to stay safe. I want this pandemic to be over sooner than later I love everyone and want you to be safe. Then I can have my mind back.
In the past the baby was born, the cancer was cured and the lover faded away. I want my mind back!
But this pandemic seems to change everything. I wake up heart pounding and all day it's there. I meditate and pray and exercise but it's still there. I try to be vigilant at night but it is still looming.
God help our planet, God help us please. I want my mind back!
It's so frustrating how unprepared out country is. The USA had time to start to prepare. To recommend social distancing in January not March. To give incentives to companies to make masks and protecting clothing for hospital workers, and even get the public prepared for closures. But human nature seems to prefer denial. It won't come to America. We are invincible. But it came and it's bloody scary and it isn't going away any time soon. WE are all vulnerable. We could be carriers, we could get sick, we could die .
I want my mind back! I want to think happy thoughts, see friends smile and do kind things for each other in person. I want to think about what to bring to the next pot luck, or how I can help a friend in need or maybe even fantasize about seeing that lover again.
I want my mind back! So please everyone wear a mask, do social distancing, stay home as much as possible, take vitamin C and D and immune boosters. Thank you everyone for all the fun things you post and the information on how to stay safe. I want this pandemic to be over sooner than later I love everyone and want you to be safe. Then I can have my mind back.
You Were My First Role Model, Dad
My body shudders when I think of my dad. And then the tears start. At first just a little leak. drop. drop. drop. drop. To a full blown "What the fuck Universe? Why do we have to lose the ones we love?" I'm gonna push through the sobs to write.
So anyway, my dad was my first role model for being a free spirit, and not always in a good way. He could be selfish as can I. I remember every summer he would take a vacation on his own. Leaving my mom home with four kids. How on Earth did she put up with that shit? I guess back then there weren't a lot of choices. By the way, I remember once when I was eleven years old my mom put on her high heels and lipstick and walked to the highway to take a bus out of town. As scared as I was that she would never come back, I was secretly rooting for her.
So anyway, Dad was penny pincher. I mean big time! And I've been the same. Always going the dollar a day route till I turned sixty and said to myself, "Fuck it I worked hard for my savings, what am I waiting for?" Now I give to charities, friends in need, and treat myself to new pretty clothes if I want them.
By the way, my dad was a major flirt. He would come to pick me up at my friends' houses and blatantly flirt with their moms. To my young eyes the vibe was, let's have a high ball and make out. I used to be a flirt and still would be if I wouldn't be laughed at for being a dirty old lady. So anyway, I don't have a lot of evidence that my dad was wild and promiscuous. But the clues point in that direction. Even in his eighties, he would have three girlfriends, while my proper Catholic mother married this charming good-looking intelligent slut I'll never know. Love is unexplainable and the bond between father and daughter is as well.
My dad, the penny pinching wild flirt was a chemist with a master's degree. I felt I had to get my master's too, but God knows, not in chemistry. My dad liked to drink and when I turned 21 he came to my college to visit me and take me out for a drink. That became our custom during our visits, going out and getting a little tipsy. I love you, Dad.
So anyway, my dad was my first role model for being a free spirit, and not always in a good way. He could be selfish as can I. I remember every summer he would take a vacation on his own. Leaving my mom home with four kids. How on Earth did she put up with that shit? I guess back then there weren't a lot of choices. By the way, I remember once when I was eleven years old my mom put on her high heels and lipstick and walked to the highway to take a bus out of town. As scared as I was that she would never come back, I was secretly rooting for her.
So anyway, Dad was penny pincher. I mean big time! And I've been the same. Always going the dollar a day route till I turned sixty and said to myself, "Fuck it I worked hard for my savings, what am I waiting for?" Now I give to charities, friends in need, and treat myself to new pretty clothes if I want them.
By the way, my dad was a major flirt. He would come to pick me up at my friends' houses and blatantly flirt with their moms. To my young eyes the vibe was, let's have a high ball and make out. I used to be a flirt and still would be if I wouldn't be laughed at for being a dirty old lady. So anyway, I don't have a lot of evidence that my dad was wild and promiscuous. But the clues point in that direction. Even in his eighties, he would have three girlfriends, while my proper Catholic mother married this charming good-looking intelligent slut I'll never know. Love is unexplainable and the bond between father and daughter is as well.
My dad, the penny pinching wild flirt was a chemist with a master's degree. I felt I had to get my master's too, but God knows, not in chemistry. My dad liked to drink and when I turned 21 he came to my college to visit me and take me out for a drink. That became our custom during our visits, going out and getting a little tipsy. I love you, Dad.
Do You Know Me?
Writing this while singing the song " Don't you worry about a Thing."
Do you know me? Do you know my mom was sick almost as far back as I can remember?
Do you know I couldn't learn how to read?
Do you know I cheated on an algebra test once?
Do you know me? Did you ever ask?
Do you know I wanted my cousin to molest me when I was 11?
Do you know I was a hippie farmer who grew our food, canned it and froze it and put it into the root cellar.
Do you know I got tear gassed and then chased by police on horses while waving clubs as we protested at the Pentagon?
Do you know me at all?
Did you ever ask if I'm happy or lonely or fucked up?
Do you know I'm not ready to die?
Do you know I love Jesus and God and Mother Mary?
Do you know I believe in angels and spirits and that we each have a fragment of God inside of us?
Do you know I have poor self esteem and yet I feel entitled to be in the front of lines. I even cut in lines sometimes.
Do you know me at all? Do you know my first husband had LSD poisoning?
Do you know my third husband is gay and young and sexy and damn it we never consummated the marriage?
Do you know many of my favorite bitches are part of the Collective Underground? Do you know I love you?
Do you know I wake up in fear some mornings?
Do you know me at all? Will you ever ask? Do you care?
Do you know me? Do you know my mom was sick almost as far back as I can remember?
Do you know I couldn't learn how to read?
Do you know I cheated on an algebra test once?
Do you know me? Did you ever ask?
Do you know I wanted my cousin to molest me when I was 11?
Do you know I was a hippie farmer who grew our food, canned it and froze it and put it into the root cellar.
Do you know I got tear gassed and then chased by police on horses while waving clubs as we protested at the Pentagon?
Do you know me at all?
Did you ever ask if I'm happy or lonely or fucked up?
Do you know I'm not ready to die?
Do you know I love Jesus and God and Mother Mary?
Do you know I believe in angels and spirits and that we each have a fragment of God inside of us?
Do you know I have poor self esteem and yet I feel entitled to be in the front of lines. I even cut in lines sometimes.
Do you know me at all? Do you know my first husband had LSD poisoning?
Do you know my third husband is gay and young and sexy and damn it we never consummated the marriage?
Do you know many of my favorite bitches are part of the Collective Underground? Do you know I love you?
Do you know I wake up in fear some mornings?
Do you know me at all? Will you ever ask? Do you care?
I've Got Your Back
I'm serious, every time the phone rings don't think its heart wrenching news. That's not the response I want to have anymore. Give it up. I've got your back baby.
Baby, put a smile on your sweet face, stand up straight and go forward. Move on Show your backbone. Be a warrior. I've got your back. Don't worry.
What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation to let go? All you have to do is look in the mirror to know worrying and fear don't suit you. Come on. Watch a comedy, hike with a puppy, find a fuck buddy.
NO! No, that doesn't resonate for me.
Baby, I've got your back. RELAX, pop a vitamin B, get out your PlayGirl magazine, take a toke, get some lube and you're almost feels real dildo and go at it. Bite your own arm, slap your own butt, let go, moan. Maybe some orgasms will get your mojo working and your will have a deep relaxation .
Or you can take the other route and meditate. Sit quietly and let the silence envelop you. Let the Sill Small Voice speak to you and calm you.
Come on darling, chill!!! I've got your back! No need to think the worst is going to happen. Turn your thoughts around. YOU can do it! Train yourself to believe the world is your friend and you will be treated with respect. Believe in goodness. Believe in love.
Baby, I've got your back.
So chill, relax, smile, laugh and remember happy times. Nightmares get resolved.
Baby, I've got your back!
Baby, put a smile on your sweet face, stand up straight and go forward. Move on Show your backbone. Be a warrior. I've got your back. Don't worry.
What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation to let go? All you have to do is look in the mirror to know worrying and fear don't suit you. Come on. Watch a comedy, hike with a puppy, find a fuck buddy.
NO! No, that doesn't resonate for me.
Baby, I've got your back. RELAX, pop a vitamin B, get out your PlayGirl magazine, take a toke, get some lube and you're almost feels real dildo and go at it. Bite your own arm, slap your own butt, let go, moan. Maybe some orgasms will get your mojo working and your will have a deep relaxation .
Or you can take the other route and meditate. Sit quietly and let the silence envelop you. Let the Sill Small Voice speak to you and calm you.
Come on darling, chill!!! I've got your back! No need to think the worst is going to happen. Turn your thoughts around. YOU can do it! Train yourself to believe the world is your friend and you will be treated with respect. Believe in goodness. Believe in love.
Baby, I've got your back.
So chill, relax, smile, laugh and remember happy times. Nightmares get resolved.
Baby, I've got your back!
I Toss Things Away
Driving home I remembered I had put some chocolate candy kisses in my pocket from the pot luck. I knew if they get as far as my home I 'll eat them , so I throw them out the window . Yep I was a litter bug .
So anyway , I toss things away ! I want to be more Zen and have less possessions so I decided to throw away my photo albums . These contained pictures of my life ,intimate naked pictures of me pregnant , Pictures of my precious babies and pictures of my young sexy boyfriend who I moved over to Maui with . I took one last look and drove to a neighborhood that has trash pick up . All the fancy brown garbage cans were neatly waiting in front of peoples driveways . . I quietly parked and walked up the road putting the albums In different garbage cans .
So anyway , I toss things away . Driving in our old red Mercedes my second husband tells me we are about to run out of fuel. We are on our way to an important anti nuclear power meeting , my two young sons are home with a baby sitter. Run out of fuel on a dark night on a highway out side of Pittsburgh ,Pa. ! I quietly roll down the window and toss my wedding ring out . I didn't even tell him. I just tossed it out.
I throw away marriages Both of them Out you go ! Out out out
So anyway , when I was 21 as I stood with my father at the chapel in my long white wedding dress ,tan skin, yellow white hippie hair I knew I was making a huge mistake . I didn't want to walk down the aisle .But I didn't have the courage to turn around and run .So I threw out my first marriage in my heart before I even said ,"I do."
So anyway , I I got a message , " You don't know me but I found 3 photo albums on our street . I recognized you in the pictures . I put the them on my porch . She included an address . I throw away things but they don't always stay gone .
So anyway , I toss things away ! I want to be more Zen and have less possessions so I decided to throw away my photo albums . These contained pictures of my life ,intimate naked pictures of me pregnant , Pictures of my precious babies and pictures of my young sexy boyfriend who I moved over to Maui with . I took one last look and drove to a neighborhood that has trash pick up . All the fancy brown garbage cans were neatly waiting in front of peoples driveways . . I quietly parked and walked up the road putting the albums In different garbage cans .
So anyway , I toss things away . Driving in our old red Mercedes my second husband tells me we are about to run out of fuel. We are on our way to an important anti nuclear power meeting , my two young sons are home with a baby sitter. Run out of fuel on a dark night on a highway out side of Pittsburgh ,Pa. ! I quietly roll down the window and toss my wedding ring out . I didn't even tell him. I just tossed it out.
I throw away marriages Both of them Out you go ! Out out out
So anyway , when I was 21 as I stood with my father at the chapel in my long white wedding dress ,tan skin, yellow white hippie hair I knew I was making a huge mistake . I didn't want to walk down the aisle .But I didn't have the courage to turn around and run .So I threw out my first marriage in my heart before I even said ,"I do."
So anyway , I I got a message , " You don't know me but I found 3 photo albums on our street . I recognized you in the pictures . I put the them on my porch . She included an address . I throw away things but they don't always stay gone .
Party
Some of you who know me have heard me called Party Pam. I take that nick name very seriously and it seems to suit me right now.
Before that I was Miss Pam the school counselor. What a rewarding and challenging 20 year gig that was. Doing my best to to guide students to use their words instead of their fists, to use condoms for safe sex, to respect themselves, and to know, deep in their core, how special they are.
Before Party Pam and Miss Pam, a long time ago, I was Pam the coed who gives head.
So anyway, at age 12 my family went to the beach for two weeks. Each day I would take a walk at dusk away from the cottage and my parents who were drinking cocktails and my brothers who were either playing or fighting.
After I walked out of sight of my naive parents I would hitchhike for the hell of it. I would get picked up by guys usually in their 20's and we would make out and I would give them head. And then I would get out of the car and do it again. I was studying and perfecting. I felt powerful and I could make grown men beg, moan and then lose themselves. It was on my terms. Naturally I was looking for love but never slowed down enough to find it until I was much older.
So anyway, High School in the New Jersey country side in the early 60's was challenging for a blowjob queen like me. So I took to having boyfriends, bad boys. Back in those days girls were brain washed to think we had to be virgins and that sex was a nasty business only done to create babies. This was pre-pill and IUD.
So anyway, I was a gambler and a horn dog so I continued my sexual studies. One of my boyfriends was Catholic so on Friday he had to eat fish but he still wanted me to eat his meat. One night I got chewing gum all over his pubic hair. I think he started the craze of men trimming and shaving their pubic hair.
All this talk about blowjobs came to me as I was feeling Miss Kelly, my muse. Her granddaughter Rachel was my age, 25, when we met. She was married with children. She was very sheltered in the hillbilly hallows of Tennessee. So anyway, she asked me if I ever heard of a woman putting her mouth on a man's penis? I gave her the scoop and she turned pale.
So anyway, soon afterwards she accused me of chasing after her husband, something I would never do. I have morals you know.
Before that I was Miss Pam the school counselor. What a rewarding and challenging 20 year gig that was. Doing my best to to guide students to use their words instead of their fists, to use condoms for safe sex, to respect themselves, and to know, deep in their core, how special they are.
Before Party Pam and Miss Pam, a long time ago, I was Pam the coed who gives head.
So anyway, at age 12 my family went to the beach for two weeks. Each day I would take a walk at dusk away from the cottage and my parents who were drinking cocktails and my brothers who were either playing or fighting.
After I walked out of sight of my naive parents I would hitchhike for the hell of it. I would get picked up by guys usually in their 20's and we would make out and I would give them head. And then I would get out of the car and do it again. I was studying and perfecting. I felt powerful and I could make grown men beg, moan and then lose themselves. It was on my terms. Naturally I was looking for love but never slowed down enough to find it until I was much older.
So anyway, High School in the New Jersey country side in the early 60's was challenging for a blowjob queen like me. So I took to having boyfriends, bad boys. Back in those days girls were brain washed to think we had to be virgins and that sex was a nasty business only done to create babies. This was pre-pill and IUD.
So anyway, I was a gambler and a horn dog so I continued my sexual studies. One of my boyfriends was Catholic so on Friday he had to eat fish but he still wanted me to eat his meat. One night I got chewing gum all over his pubic hair. I think he started the craze of men trimming and shaving their pubic hair.
All this talk about blowjobs came to me as I was feeling Miss Kelly, my muse. Her granddaughter Rachel was my age, 25, when we met. She was married with children. She was very sheltered in the hillbilly hallows of Tennessee. So anyway, she asked me if I ever heard of a woman putting her mouth on a man's penis? I gave her the scoop and she turned pale.
So anyway, soon afterwards she accused me of chasing after her husband, something I would never do. I have morals you know.
The Collective Underground
Sage is moving to Portland. I'll miss her. It's funny our collective, our group of fabulous woman, we all care. We don't all really know each other. At least I don't know everyone. I know they are amazing writers full of talent and I feel they all have big hearts.
I'm actually in awe of each woman . Where do these ideas come from? How can they write such deep complex essays?
Sometimes the pain of the writing is so deep my heart is pounding, my head hurts and I have tears in my eyes. I read all the time novels and I get completely engrossed in the books I read but its totally different to hear your woman friends you've grown so fond of read out loud their creative works from their hearts. I think if any one decided to be a writer for a magazine or blog they'd do wonderfully well. I hope some of the ladies write books .They have so much to say. I hope I write a book. I have a lot to say too.
I'm actually in awe of each woman . Where do these ideas come from? How can they write such deep complex essays?
Sometimes the pain of the writing is so deep my heart is pounding, my head hurts and I have tears in my eyes. I read all the time novels and I get completely engrossed in the books I read but its totally different to hear your woman friends you've grown so fond of read out loud their creative works from their hearts. I think if any one decided to be a writer for a magazine or blog they'd do wonderfully well. I hope some of the ladies write books .They have so much to say. I hope I write a book. I have a lot to say too.
Meditate meditate meditate
Meditate , meditate, meditate and then meditate some more Meditaters are sexy , peaceful, smart , they live longer and dont get dementia . Folks who Meditate shine , people notice them .People see your glow and probably picture that if you love your self enough to meditate you probably love yourself enough to wear silky see through panties
People who meditate are Be ers more than do ers They know who to Be here now , live in the present , enjoy each moment,
So sit down , cross your legs , close your eyes and breath. Breath in slowly , breath out slowly,If any thoughts come into your mind let them float away.
Calm quiet relaxed ,,,People who meditate get higher test scores , and because they meditate they are relaxed during hte testing.
All sorts of books are written for the " baby boomers" on how to keep our minds alert and prevent dementia and memory loss And all the books say meditate , meditate meditate So join the Dali Lama, Deepak Chopra , and Jesus and quiet your mind and see what happens . The Still Small Voice they speak of in the Bible may guide you to new ideas You may even meet your Higher Self
People who meditate are Be ers more than do ers They know who to Be here now , live in the present , enjoy each moment,
So sit down , cross your legs , close your eyes and breath. Breath in slowly , breath out slowly,If any thoughts come into your mind let them float away.
Calm quiet relaxed ,,,People who meditate get higher test scores , and because they meditate they are relaxed during hte testing.
All sorts of books are written for the " baby boomers" on how to keep our minds alert and prevent dementia and memory loss And all the books say meditate , meditate meditate So join the Dali Lama, Deepak Chopra , and Jesus and quiet your mind and see what happens . The Still Small Voice they speak of in the Bible may guide you to new ideas You may even meet your Higher Self
Authority Muse
The American people at least those of us who voted for a black Afro-American liberal from Hawaii for president thought we voted for change. A young man from a single parent home who did social service work. We trusted he would end the wars and not begin new ones. We believed he cared about the environment. WE believed he cared about us , the little guy.
I know he tried to make a difference and he did in many many areas. But damn it's so obvious we are killing ourselves and our planet. It's so plain to see our country is a mess. And it's the people at the top who run the banks, big business and our government, the people with authority who don't give a damn.
Things have got to change! So I am once again going to open my heart and my wallet and believe in a person who is running for president. Maybe I'm a sucker or a hopeless romantic but hey I really believe Bernie Sanders walks his talk.
One of the main reasons I believe in him is he is not taking any money from big business or super packs. So he is not beholden to them. He does not have to allow deadly chemicals to be sprayed near schools because he has not taken any money from chemical or pharmacy companies.
I believe in so many things he wants to do but I don't want to get on my high horse and go on and on.
Things have got to change and maybe just maybe our Creator or our good fortune is giving the USA another chance by putting a genuine real Spiritual good soul out there as a choice to be elected as our next president.
Please don't be lazy !! Please get the facts, please pass on the word about him that he is the real deal. Let's believe one more time that good can over come evil That a dignified smart honest person can lead our country.
Imagine the respect the rest of the world would give us if they saw us elect an educated man full of integrity.
Things have got to change and Bernie Sanders wants to change them. He wants prisons to know longer be for profit and Marijuana to be legalized. He wants state colleges to be tuition free. Europe does it why can't we? He wants affordable day care and a minimum wage that would insure that no one who works a 30 hour week has to go hungry or homeless or live in poverty. He wants the 1percent of our population who have most of the wealth to share some of it by paying fair taxes. He wants so much more but you get the idea. He's a man with a mission of fairness and love.
Things have got to change! Let's believe in love and goodness one more time and go out and vote in the primaries or caucuses. In Hawaii you have to be a registered Democrat to vote on March 26 please make sure you are registered and tell your friends too .
This is serious this is important for f... sake please vote.
I know he tried to make a difference and he did in many many areas. But damn it's so obvious we are killing ourselves and our planet. It's so plain to see our country is a mess. And it's the people at the top who run the banks, big business and our government, the people with authority who don't give a damn.
Things have got to change! So I am once again going to open my heart and my wallet and believe in a person who is running for president. Maybe I'm a sucker or a hopeless romantic but hey I really believe Bernie Sanders walks his talk.
One of the main reasons I believe in him is he is not taking any money from big business or super packs. So he is not beholden to them. He does not have to allow deadly chemicals to be sprayed near schools because he has not taken any money from chemical or pharmacy companies.
I believe in so many things he wants to do but I don't want to get on my high horse and go on and on.
Things have got to change and maybe just maybe our Creator or our good fortune is giving the USA another chance by putting a genuine real Spiritual good soul out there as a choice to be elected as our next president.
Please don't be lazy !! Please get the facts, please pass on the word about him that he is the real deal. Let's believe one more time that good can over come evil That a dignified smart honest person can lead our country.
Imagine the respect the rest of the world would give us if they saw us elect an educated man full of integrity.
Things have got to change and Bernie Sanders wants to change them. He wants prisons to know longer be for profit and Marijuana to be legalized. He wants state colleges to be tuition free. Europe does it why can't we? He wants affordable day care and a minimum wage that would insure that no one who works a 30 hour week has to go hungry or homeless or live in poverty. He wants the 1percent of our population who have most of the wealth to share some of it by paying fair taxes. He wants so much more but you get the idea. He's a man with a mission of fairness and love.
Things have got to change! Let's believe in love and goodness one more time and go out and vote in the primaries or caucuses. In Hawaii you have to be a registered Democrat to vote on March 26 please make sure you are registered and tell your friends too .
This is serious this is important for f... sake please vote.
"I'm not your mama"
Giggling Flesh, brown , white every shade in between lumps , bumps , dimples ,flab, curves, sexy , semi sexy,
Oh no run bounce bounce
Pine needles , drift wood , blankets, sarongs, blue blue water waves big and strong.
Pink bathing suit blends so well with the butt she looks naked.
People cough, Inhale ,exhale sweet smell or ganga
People discussing vog, cane burning, GMO"s How can you do this to our land ?
People using words like ,"" dude, da kine , check this out "
A girl comes up to me and says ," If you were my mom Id be even hotter than I already am.
My green tongue shots out of my mouth and zappped her eyes balls out If I was your mama Id teach you manners adn how to think before you speak. I darken the eye balls with marker and made them look like olives and put them in my Greek Salad . yum
My bed is full of bugs , creepy bugs with antenin My head is full of bugs too Head bugs . A big tree is growing out of my head Majestic Red Wood tree. birds live in the tree but if a rat tries to climb in I scream
Please see me as I am a person, just a soul growing into a spirit. Im not your mama Please use my name See me flawed, trees in my , brains but not a stereo type as your mama . Call me bug head or batty but not mama
The dolphins want me to make love with them I have to go now .
Signed "Im not your mama."
Oh no run bounce bounce
Pine needles , drift wood , blankets, sarongs, blue blue water waves big and strong.
Pink bathing suit blends so well with the butt she looks naked.
People cough, Inhale ,exhale sweet smell or ganga
People discussing vog, cane burning, GMO"s How can you do this to our land ?
People using words like ,"" dude, da kine , check this out "
A girl comes up to me and says ," If you were my mom Id be even hotter than I already am.
My green tongue shots out of my mouth and zappped her eyes balls out If I was your mama Id teach you manners adn how to think before you speak. I darken the eye balls with marker and made them look like olives and put them in my Greek Salad . yum
My bed is full of bugs , creepy bugs with antenin My head is full of bugs too Head bugs . A big tree is growing out of my head Majestic Red Wood tree. birds live in the tree but if a rat tries to climb in I scream
Please see me as I am a person, just a soul growing into a spirit. Im not your mama Please use my name See me flawed, trees in my , brains but not a stereo type as your mama . Call me bug head or batty but not mama
The dolphins want me to make love with them I have to go now .
Signed "Im not your mama."
Titties
Titties big plump lovely titties . Little beach is full of titties. They stick out like lights showing the way They are many different colors,sizes and shapes I want to touch them ,pinch them , suck on them, adore them. But Im doomed to be too shy and awkward to bite the bullet and touch the titty.
I can admire them from afar., the big ones the small ones the flat and full ones.
Some men however obsess over them , Their heads burst with breast images They want too much from breasts. Some men only want to play with them and enjoy them for their own selfish purposes They forget the soft pillow of skin with a nipple is attached to a woman with a heart and soul.Men sometimes cant wait to touch the titties but RUN when this includes the whole person.
Men dont fuck , suck , touch the titties if you dont want to also see the soul.
I can admire them from afar., the big ones the small ones the flat and full ones.
Some men however obsess over them , Their heads burst with breast images They want too much from breasts. Some men only want to play with them and enjoy them for their own selfish purposes They forget the soft pillow of skin with a nipple is attached to a woman with a heart and soul.Men sometimes cant wait to touch the titties but RUN when this includes the whole person.
Men dont fuck , suck , touch the titties if you dont want to also see the soul.
Pee And Poop
Are all three year old kids fascinated by pee and poop? I'm
pretty sure they are. During my stay in Sweden my little grand
daughter Selma would come in the room where i was sleeping when she
woke up in the morning to see me . Id hear the door creak open and the
little foot steps and there would be Selma's adorable face smiling at
me her blond, fine hair sticking straight up .She couldn't possibly
know how my heart would leap with joy seeing her. Her first words were
always the same ," I have to pee." And thus began our little ritual
her on her little red children's potty and me on the toilet . One two
, three, go ! Tinkle tinkle. Then she was up and ready to pour her pee
into the big toilet to and I quote "be with Grandma's pee." If I
didn't hurry and get off the pot I would have had pee all over me .
After this little ceremony we played games on my bed for hours.
Her mama was with her brand new baby and papa had to get up and get
ready for work. So this was our time . We played the silliest games
pretending we were cooking stuffed animals and they would yell for
"help" so we would save them only to have them pee and poop on us
with sound affects.
Now Im pretty shy about pooping . I like to do it alone with the
door closed. But hey I only see Selma once a year and she wanted to
come with me when ever I went to the potty . She would watch me very
intently ,very curious , and then say ," Selma wants to see Grandma's
poop There goes that inhibition .
Life sure looses some of its luster when you do'nt have anyone
to pee and poop with .I miss you Selma
pretty sure they are. During my stay in Sweden my little grand
daughter Selma would come in the room where i was sleeping when she
woke up in the morning to see me . Id hear the door creak open and the
little foot steps and there would be Selma's adorable face smiling at
me her blond, fine hair sticking straight up .She couldn't possibly
know how my heart would leap with joy seeing her. Her first words were
always the same ," I have to pee." And thus began our little ritual
her on her little red children's potty and me on the toilet . One two
, three, go ! Tinkle tinkle. Then she was up and ready to pour her pee
into the big toilet to and I quote "be with Grandma's pee." If I
didn't hurry and get off the pot I would have had pee all over me .
After this little ceremony we played games on my bed for hours.
Her mama was with her brand new baby and papa had to get up and get
ready for work. So this was our time . We played the silliest games
pretending we were cooking stuffed animals and they would yell for
"help" so we would save them only to have them pee and poop on us
with sound affects.
Now Im pretty shy about pooping . I like to do it alone with the
door closed. But hey I only see Selma once a year and she wanted to
come with me when ever I went to the potty . She would watch me very
intently ,very curious , and then say ," Selma wants to see Grandma's
poop There goes that inhibition .
Life sure looses some of its luster when you do'nt have anyone
to pee and poop with .I miss you Selma
Susan
Susan , one of my dearest friends, just told me very kindly, with the best of communication skills, that she just didn't feel as close to me any more. This was over the phone. She in Pennsylvania and me in Hawaii. I was so saddened and moved to tears by her declaration that I could no longer talk. I thanked her for her kind words and my phone went dead.
I felt so deeply sad. We have been friends for almost 40 years . She was my sons babysitter when they were still in diapers and when she saw my husband and my record collection she realized we would be better friends than her being our sitter. She was in college. I was just turning 30.
We went out dancing a lot and she introduced me to a family of friends I've loved ever since.
We both survived breast cancer. We both love music and nature. Most of all I love her laugh. She has this laugh that even if something isn't funny it is once you hear Susan laugh.
I told her my deepest secrets and fears. We encouraged each other to eat well,
to make new friends. Knowing her made me a better person.
I prayed for her dad during his passing and sent him a few cards and called him . I want to her house after my dads death too shaken to go directly home to Hawaii.
She's a fabulous dancer and musician. Everyone who knows her admirers her.
We discussed our jobs as we are both in the "helping professions."
She gave me amazing counsel during my codependent crazy times and she still does give me wisdom to any situation I find difficult.
I've been feeling her pulling away a bit from me gently, compassionately, but I didn't want to believe it. So I guess I confronted this intuition by asking her if I can stay with her when I visit Pa. this summer.
I'm glad its out. I'm so grateful we spoke. I'm blessed we are still friends just in a different way. I pray I can accept this without beating myself up or judging myself. For it is true things do just change sometimes. I feel lucky to know someone so honest and caring as to tell me about this change
I felt so deeply sad. We have been friends for almost 40 years . She was my sons babysitter when they were still in diapers and when she saw my husband and my record collection she realized we would be better friends than her being our sitter. She was in college. I was just turning 30.
We went out dancing a lot and she introduced me to a family of friends I've loved ever since.
We both survived breast cancer. We both love music and nature. Most of all I love her laugh. She has this laugh that even if something isn't funny it is once you hear Susan laugh.
I told her my deepest secrets and fears. We encouraged each other to eat well,
to make new friends. Knowing her made me a better person.
I prayed for her dad during his passing and sent him a few cards and called him . I want to her house after my dads death too shaken to go directly home to Hawaii.
She's a fabulous dancer and musician. Everyone who knows her admirers her.
We discussed our jobs as we are both in the "helping professions."
She gave me amazing counsel during my codependent crazy times and she still does give me wisdom to any situation I find difficult.
I've been feeling her pulling away a bit from me gently, compassionately, but I didn't want to believe it. So I guess I confronted this intuition by asking her if I can stay with her when I visit Pa. this summer.
I'm glad its out. I'm so grateful we spoke. I'm blessed we are still friends just in a different way. I pray I can accept this without beating myself up or judging myself. For it is true things do just change sometimes. I feel lucky to know someone so honest and caring as to tell me about this change
Grandma Love
Okay ,so I admit it ..I am ridiculously absolutely, bonkers over my
two grand daughters!!
Selma age 3 and Saga one month.Did I have a life before being a grand
mother ?? I cant remember.
I can only imagine how bored my friends must be with me obsessing
about these two precious little girls. If some one asks ,"How I am?" I
can only reply" madly in love " with my grand daughters . And if
anyone will listen I can go on and on about how cute, fun, smart ,
amazing they are.
Love ! Love is so wonderful . It just pours out of us Its a gift
from God and when we feel it the world feels right.
The only hitch in this exciting love affair is that Selma and
Saga live in Sweden and I live in Hawaii. That"s 12 time zones, twenty
two hours by plane... Its a long long way.
Now I have to decide if i ought to move to Sweden where it is
cold and dark in the winter and where I have been unsuccessful in
making new friends or do I want to be apart from my babies for months
or possibly a year at a time .
For now we are apart and I don't want them to forget me.
I pray for them ,I pray I can accept what is , and we skype , and
Grandma Pam is grateful for all the precious time we had together .
two grand daughters!!
Selma age 3 and Saga one month.Did I have a life before being a grand
mother ?? I cant remember.
I can only imagine how bored my friends must be with me obsessing
about these two precious little girls. If some one asks ,"How I am?" I
can only reply" madly in love " with my grand daughters . And if
anyone will listen I can go on and on about how cute, fun, smart ,
amazing they are.
Love ! Love is so wonderful . It just pours out of us Its a gift
from God and when we feel it the world feels right.
The only hitch in this exciting love affair is that Selma and
Saga live in Sweden and I live in Hawaii. That"s 12 time zones, twenty
two hours by plane... Its a long long way.
Now I have to decide if i ought to move to Sweden where it is
cold and dark in the winter and where I have been unsuccessful in
making new friends or do I want to be apart from my babies for months
or possibly a year at a time .
For now we are apart and I don't want them to forget me.
I pray for them ,I pray I can accept what is , and we skype , and
Grandma Pam is grateful for all the precious time we had together .
