Please Remember
I am here today to remind you, you took the time to buy them, your eco friendly doggie poop bags.
You took the time to bend over and fill it with your dogs poop, don’t leave it on the side of the road. Take it with you!
I see them along our road, blue ones, green ones, pink ones and even purple ones.
No one is going to pick up your dogs poop bag, that’s your responsibility. I mean what’s the point of going to all the trouble of bending down to bag the poop if you’re just gonna leave it behind.
Oh don’t tell me you forgot, It’s too hard to miss those vibrant colored bags with the knot in them sitting next to the asphalt as you’re walking by with your dog.
Too many people do this, act irresponsible. If you can’t carry it with you when you leave, then bring a small shovel and scoop it up and give it a heave ho into the pasture. That would be better than leaving the poop filled bag for someone else to take and throw it away.
Put yourself in the shoes of the people who live on and drive this road everyday, would you want to see the myriad of colorful bags filled with dog poop, just sitting there waiting?
I always want to compliment the dog owner who takes their dogs poop bag with them when they leave and I can’t because I never see anyone carrying them!
Or how about the person who leaves the pink poop filled bag on the old dry stack rock walls, perhaps thinking they’ll remember to take it? Well there is no one walking on the road, so I guess you forgot your poop filled bag! It’ll just sit there I suppose until it fades away.
I am here today to remind you, you took the time to
buy them, your eco friendly doggie poop bags.
You take the time to bend down and fill it with your dogs poop, don’t leave It on the side of the road. Take it with you!
Oh and don’t get me started on the woman who lets her dog run wild into other peoples yards while she talks on the phone, the dog who busts through my fence, because she isn’t paying attention to what her dog is doing, I see it running wild through my neighbors yard too.
Please just remember to carry the eco friendly doggie poop filled bag with you when you leave, or better yet, do us all a favor and tie it onto your dogs leash!
You took the time to bend over and fill it with your dogs poop, don’t leave it on the side of the road. Take it with you!
I see them along our road, blue ones, green ones, pink ones and even purple ones.
No one is going to pick up your dogs poop bag, that’s your responsibility. I mean what’s the point of going to all the trouble of bending down to bag the poop if you’re just gonna leave it behind.
Oh don’t tell me you forgot, It’s too hard to miss those vibrant colored bags with the knot in them sitting next to the asphalt as you’re walking by with your dog.
Too many people do this, act irresponsible. If you can’t carry it with you when you leave, then bring a small shovel and scoop it up and give it a heave ho into the pasture. That would be better than leaving the poop filled bag for someone else to take and throw it away.
Put yourself in the shoes of the people who live on and drive this road everyday, would you want to see the myriad of colorful bags filled with dog poop, just sitting there waiting?
I always want to compliment the dog owner who takes their dogs poop bag with them when they leave and I can’t because I never see anyone carrying them!
Or how about the person who leaves the pink poop filled bag on the old dry stack rock walls, perhaps thinking they’ll remember to take it? Well there is no one walking on the road, so I guess you forgot your poop filled bag! It’ll just sit there I suppose until it fades away.
I am here today to remind you, you took the time to
buy them, your eco friendly doggie poop bags.
You take the time to bend down and fill it with your dogs poop, don’t leave It on the side of the road. Take it with you!
Oh and don’t get me started on the woman who lets her dog run wild into other peoples yards while she talks on the phone, the dog who busts through my fence, because she isn’t paying attention to what her dog is doing, I see it running wild through my neighbors yard too.
Please just remember to carry the eco friendly doggie poop filled bag with you when you leave, or better yet, do us all a favor and tie it onto your dogs leash!
Free
Thumping, writhing dancing in the sand, finding rhythm in the waves. Flowing in and out,
I surrender and undulate with the waves carrying me to far shores, sailing freely, feeling no direction.
Pointed towards the unknown of…. Whales spout, dolphins leap, fishes fly past my smile as I am carried into the depths.
The depths of lives lived, the depths of lives shared and the depths of lives lost.
I pine for those I have lost. Lost to fights, lost to another, lost to lies, lost to death.
I am alive. here and now.
Carried by the tides that bind me, I coast for a time, seeing reflections, showing circumstance, demonstrating strength.
Carried high, so sight is clear and extensive. Examine the situation and be fluid, like the ocean, not holding on, just allowing and flowing. Becoming what is necessary to survive in this life.
Tonight will reveal all we know by the firelight of truth.
Statuary becomes alive, portraying scenarios we used to live, alabaster cracks showing flaws of thought.
Changed under stress, sickness and loss, kiss them goodbye forever I am through.
Gliding into the tunnel of revelations, read the writings on the wall. Stepping onto the bridge erected between forgiveness and sanctuary. The bridge toll is the stories that can’t be let go of.
There is only one way forward.
Now is it.
Find courage to forgive and move forward, shedding that old skin, breathe deep and go.
Stepping onto the planks that suspend the darkness within, holding onto the frayed ropes that are tied to willow trees, bending and swaying under the reluctance in our bones.
Careful not to falter or slip, the fall is eternal. I’ll wait on the other side of forgiveness, ready for renewal.
Take me down the loving path into your heart, shine a light onto the pain never forgotten, serve it on a platter and throw it against the wall. Free from it now.
Turning around and walking away from that. Into the summer sun, appearing on the shores of first delight,
toss the ball and run into the surf,
I am free.
I surrender and undulate with the waves carrying me to far shores, sailing freely, feeling no direction.
Pointed towards the unknown of…. Whales spout, dolphins leap, fishes fly past my smile as I am carried into the depths.
The depths of lives lived, the depths of lives shared and the depths of lives lost.
I pine for those I have lost. Lost to fights, lost to another, lost to lies, lost to death.
I am alive. here and now.
Carried by the tides that bind me, I coast for a time, seeing reflections, showing circumstance, demonstrating strength.
Carried high, so sight is clear and extensive. Examine the situation and be fluid, like the ocean, not holding on, just allowing and flowing. Becoming what is necessary to survive in this life.
Tonight will reveal all we know by the firelight of truth.
Statuary becomes alive, portraying scenarios we used to live, alabaster cracks showing flaws of thought.
Changed under stress, sickness and loss, kiss them goodbye forever I am through.
Gliding into the tunnel of revelations, read the writings on the wall. Stepping onto the bridge erected between forgiveness and sanctuary. The bridge toll is the stories that can’t be let go of.
There is only one way forward.
Now is it.
Find courage to forgive and move forward, shedding that old skin, breathe deep and go.
Stepping onto the planks that suspend the darkness within, holding onto the frayed ropes that are tied to willow trees, bending and swaying under the reluctance in our bones.
Careful not to falter or slip, the fall is eternal. I’ll wait on the other side of forgiveness, ready for renewal.
Take me down the loving path into your heart, shine a light onto the pain never forgotten, serve it on a platter and throw it against the wall. Free from it now.
Turning around and walking away from that. Into the summer sun, appearing on the shores of first delight,
toss the ball and run into the surf,
I am free.
Seats
A sturdy chair. Yes a Chair
Will always give you a place to sit
a place to contemplate
a place to dream
A place to be
Made of a strong wood, like oak or teak
maybe it’s an exotic wood, like mahogany or rose wood
or perhaps Ebony wood from Africa, strong and black
A chair is one to lean on in times of crisis
Give you a place in solitude to think
A sturdy chair, yes a chair,
Will always give you a place to sit,
A chair can be used to brake a window if you’re locked inside
A chair is a great foundation for building a fort
for your young child to play in
Always waiting patiently for the next arrival
A chair can be stoic when you need
Or make you laugh when it slides out from under
you as you go to sit down
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
It will keep holding folks who sit down
It doesn’t matter if you stink or smell pretty
A chair doesn’t discriminate, ever
You can be covered in paint or blood
or covered in sand from the beach, a chair won’t care
you can always sit down
A chair can be used to barricade a door,
if you’re keeping your fears out
You can be humiliated, or angry, battered and bruised,
a chair won’t care
always waiting patiently for the next arrival
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
Weather you are the poorest of the poor or
the Queen of a country,
a chair won’t care it will hold you upon itself
You can use a chair to climb up
and change that light bulb
or hang a piñata
You can bridge the gap by
pulling the chair closer to your sad loved one
You can sit on a chair backwards and pretend your driving
you can put a chair on your head
and pretend you’re Santa Claus
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
You can take a chair outside on the green grass
or you can teach your dog to climb up and sit on the chair
You can burn that chair in a fire,
when it’s broken and feel the warmth radiate
You can use a chair to exercise
You can use a chair to hold your clothes or hats.
Always waiting patiently for the next arrival.
Chairs are good for many uses
See how many you can discover
with your favorite chair today!
Will always give you a place to sit
a place to contemplate
a place to dream
A place to be
Made of a strong wood, like oak or teak
maybe it’s an exotic wood, like mahogany or rose wood
or perhaps Ebony wood from Africa, strong and black
A chair is one to lean on in times of crisis
Give you a place in solitude to think
A sturdy chair, yes a chair,
Will always give you a place to sit,
A chair can be used to brake a window if you’re locked inside
A chair is a great foundation for building a fort
for your young child to play in
Always waiting patiently for the next arrival
A chair can be stoic when you need
Or make you laugh when it slides out from under
you as you go to sit down
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
It will keep holding folks who sit down
It doesn’t matter if you stink or smell pretty
A chair doesn’t discriminate, ever
You can be covered in paint or blood
or covered in sand from the beach, a chair won’t care
you can always sit down
A chair can be used to barricade a door,
if you’re keeping your fears out
You can be humiliated, or angry, battered and bruised,
a chair won’t care
always waiting patiently for the next arrival
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
Weather you are the poorest of the poor or
the Queen of a country,
a chair won’t care it will hold you upon itself
You can use a chair to climb up
and change that light bulb
or hang a piñata
You can bridge the gap by
pulling the chair closer to your sad loved one
You can sit on a chair backwards and pretend your driving
you can put a chair on your head
and pretend you’re Santa Claus
A sturdy chair, yes a chair
Will always give you a place to sit
You can take a chair outside on the green grass
or you can teach your dog to climb up and sit on the chair
You can burn that chair in a fire,
when it’s broken and feel the warmth radiate
You can use a chair to exercise
You can use a chair to hold your clothes or hats.
Always waiting patiently for the next arrival.
Chairs are good for many uses
See how many you can discover
with your favorite chair today!
Childhood Item
There is old glitter all over, I can taste the metal on my tongue. Fingermarks have shaped the girl. The yarn is so thin it barely holds the bell. Its amazing it is intact. Nothing else from my childhood is, including my innocence. It came from simpler times. I was in Kindergarten, Mrs. Harkness had us make a christmas gift for our family. I made a clay bell, I liked bells. They sounded out warnings, they sounded out weddings, they sounded out church is in session. My family wasn’t religious. I only went to church with my neighbor, Diane Rowan, to eat candy with the quarter our parents gave us for the donation basket. We would spend 20 cents on candy and put the nickle in the basket. Diane was from Liverpool, home of the Beatles. I love the Beatles. We pretended our Barbies were married to them when we played marriage, usually Paul and John, sometimes Elvis. I have been married three times. The first was a green card marriage. He was English and gay so there was no chance for romance. The second was a drug marriage, we thought we loved each other, maybe in our herion induced way we did, It was more of a help each other out of the muck marriage. The third and final time was to the father of my two sons. One day I discovered I was pregnant and so we got married to have an income tax deduction. How romantic. Its probably one of the reasons we couldn’t stay together. I long to go back into the simple times of when this bell was made. To feel the raw material of life in my young fingers again. To have the glitter to create a dazzling life, to be in innocence, before I was raped, before i went to live in a girls home, because my parents couldn’t control me, before I lost all my posessions in our house fire, before I saw two husbands nearly killed in work accidents. Yes take me back. I am ready to begin again.
The Mistress
The breeze chills me as I sit here. The egg has cracked open and the new day has dawned. The sky is swirled with wispy clouds. The colors pastel. The day begins. I am authentic. I seek truth. I reveal in this moment. Uncertainty. Hidden lives. Hidden truths, inside the cave of my heart. I am not sure if they will ever come to the light. I wish to keep them in the darkness of where I last left them. Better that way. For me. For everyone. I trusted him and he betrayed my trust. I found him broken on the side of the road of life. I lifted him into me. He lifted me into his heart, There we discovered the shadows that we have inside. We had out moments, our fun times, our loving times. I didn’t know, he had a mistress. I soon found out. Her name was alcohol. She was his gay friend, and a corrupting mistress. She wore an ugly face in my reflection. I didn’t know how to be with her. Having not known her well. I didn’t wish to further our connection. I knew she had a strong hold on him. I didn’t know how to fight it. To my demise, I let her be. She took you down and me with you. There was so much struggle between the three of us. She bolstered him as he told lies and hid from me. I wallowed in the never knowing and his lack of dependability. I was alone. I am still alone, albeit happier than when I was with him. I am forever shy of this Mistress. I watch out for her when I meet someone new. I don’t want her in my realm. I don’t ever want to sleep with her again. She is hard and unforgiving.
Time
I live because of the whispered dreams my ancestors spoke. I live in a time far forward to what they knew. Time shapes us for our tomorrows. We leap, we learn, we fail. We love, we hate, we cry and then we’ll die. Filling in the time between the lines we drew. It is ours for the making. And ours for the taking. Anyway we want. Follow the way lit up from inside. It will take you all the way to where you belong. Always guiding, if you are quiet enough to listen. The voice will always steer you in the right direction for you. Never minding the others, they will go their own way. Each path is lit with a different light, some are bright, others are dim. The dim lighted way will take a lifetime of traveling, each step trudging along until the light is sought, and then polished to a gleaming brightness. The brightest lights shine for all humanity, reflecting the light into the darkest corners of any soul, seeking the shadows lurking in the balance, cajoling them to disappear, chasing the black out into the bright of day. Look into my eyes, do you see what I see? Time is a mother fucker to be spent and not killed. Time is our friend and it whizzes past like theres no today. Won’t you come play with me. Lets frolic in the whispers of our ancestors dreams, they were meant for us. They created us through their love and their hate, their struggles and their joys. Their triumphs and their tribulations are written in our bones. Their hopes for a better tomorrow grow in our hair. Did you know their toes smoothed the path for our walk through time? How does your time tick? Is it with the ancestors who loved you so? Or is it with the ancestors you never knew about? Take a moment to reflect, they live in you, and you live through them.
12.5
Where do I go from here? Where have I gone? I have gone away, I left my family. Why do I leave the ones I love? I hurt people, I have been hurt. I hurt myself.
I hurt myself, I must deserve it because I have done it many times during this life, I see shadows inside of myself I cannot nor, do I dare to look. Where’s the light? Darkness creeps in again and again. Mistakes and missteps is what I have known. I joined the school bowling team as I began the sixth grade. My Mom wouldn’t have let me, the closest bowling alley is across town, in a really bad neighborhood, called the Tenderloin. I was not allowed to go there. The Tenderloin was filled with drug dealers and prostitutes. Mom and Dad were in Europe, so they couldn’t say no. The Saturday after bowling with the team, me and some friends rode the bus to the bowling alley, we wanted to check out the guys we had seen there.
We pushed the glass door open and walked in,
we stood there adjusting our sight from the bright light outside,
the room was dark, the air stale and smoky. It was noisy, the crack as the bowling balls hit the pins, the pins scattering, loud voices,
I smelled fried food.I heard bells from the pinball games, saw lights flashing bright colors, as balls rolled around under the glass.
At the bar, unshaven, shabbily dressed men, nursed their drinks, as cheap women stood by,
their forgotten smoldering cigarettes had long ashes.
They turned their attention to the group of us young girls as we stood inside the door.
On the far side of the room were the guys we were interested in. Sharply dressed, handsome. Older.
They smoked cigarettes and laughed while drinking beers and bowling.
We stood there breathless, ready to begin an adventure in our innocence,
I was the youngest.
We began to walk across the room.
I hurt myself, I must deserve it because I have done it many times during this life, I see shadows inside of myself I cannot nor, do I dare to look. Where’s the light? Darkness creeps in again and again. Mistakes and missteps is what I have known. I joined the school bowling team as I began the sixth grade. My Mom wouldn’t have let me, the closest bowling alley is across town, in a really bad neighborhood, called the Tenderloin. I was not allowed to go there. The Tenderloin was filled with drug dealers and prostitutes. Mom and Dad were in Europe, so they couldn’t say no. The Saturday after bowling with the team, me and some friends rode the bus to the bowling alley, we wanted to check out the guys we had seen there.
We pushed the glass door open and walked in,
we stood there adjusting our sight from the bright light outside,
the room was dark, the air stale and smoky. It was noisy, the crack as the bowling balls hit the pins, the pins scattering, loud voices,
I smelled fried food.I heard bells from the pinball games, saw lights flashing bright colors, as balls rolled around under the glass.
At the bar, unshaven, shabbily dressed men, nursed their drinks, as cheap women stood by,
their forgotten smoldering cigarettes had long ashes.
They turned their attention to the group of us young girls as we stood inside the door.
On the far side of the room were the guys we were interested in. Sharply dressed, handsome. Older.
They smoked cigarettes and laughed while drinking beers and bowling.
We stood there breathless, ready to begin an adventure in our innocence,
I was the youngest.
We began to walk across the room.
Mistakes
Slashing sideways, swallowing snakes as I make my way through the chamber of jagged thoughts. Serendipitous signals beckon to me. Slather me with the test of time,
Taking care to reach each crevasse and corner, bouncing the clouds on a basketball court, I make my way through. Questioning the answers that come with the test of time. Searching for the . Not wanting to fail this test. Slammed from the inside, I go to the pit, hurling bodies fly past me , I go flat, so I won’t be hit. Chewing and chatting through the chambers, Kick me in the ass, and make me hurry, get me through this test of time. Jingling in my pockets, jangling chains tether me to the past, slithering situations rise into view, curtailing my trip, testing my mind. Changing the course. Unfurling the stages of the reason why. Hanging the curtains to hide the light. Slipping into the dark, I hit bottom, I flex my thoughts to remove me from this challenge.
Magpie Mary will bake me a pie, filled with dripping nonsense and blood curdling cries,. Appetized, I hear the screams. Eating it up is the only way to quiet the sounds of destiny. I gorge myself of the pie, with delight, slurping the blood with a long tongue and a new eye, crunching through the bones, I finally lick the plate dry. Cast me off with your languid cries, I won’t hear them anymore. I am done with this test of time.
Chewed up and spit out, I tumble down the trail of mistakes, counting mine along the way. Too many to hold onto, I burn them in the hole, flames lick my face as I watch them die, the screams ignite the air, I cast them off without a farewell, too many mistakes to know the reason.
Taking care to reach each crevasse and corner, bouncing the clouds on a basketball court, I make my way through. Questioning the answers that come with the test of time. Searching for the . Not wanting to fail this test. Slammed from the inside, I go to the pit, hurling bodies fly past me , I go flat, so I won’t be hit. Chewing and chatting through the chambers, Kick me in the ass, and make me hurry, get me through this test of time. Jingling in my pockets, jangling chains tether me to the past, slithering situations rise into view, curtailing my trip, testing my mind. Changing the course. Unfurling the stages of the reason why. Hanging the curtains to hide the light. Slipping into the dark, I hit bottom, I flex my thoughts to remove me from this challenge.
Magpie Mary will bake me a pie, filled with dripping nonsense and blood curdling cries,. Appetized, I hear the screams. Eating it up is the only way to quiet the sounds of destiny. I gorge myself of the pie, with delight, slurping the blood with a long tongue and a new eye, crunching through the bones, I finally lick the plate dry. Cast me off with your languid cries, I won’t hear them anymore. I am done with this test of time.
Chewed up and spit out, I tumble down the trail of mistakes, counting mine along the way. Too many to hold onto, I burn them in the hole, flames lick my face as I watch them die, the screams ignite the air, I cast them off without a farewell, too many mistakes to know the reason.
Teeth and mouth titleless
Frolicking under the moon so bloody, just so. Searching for slumber, Seething with slithering thoughts, cutting up the opinions that are thrown in my face,
wallowing in the truth of this nighttime fate. Falling into the black, spiders crawl onto my feet, snakes saunter down my legs, bats hold my head up while my hair is flaming. Getting through the disasters that make my fate, freedom in the outside of my mind.
Slashing this way and that, timing is everything, behold the blood dripping from my eyes, tears of fright fall freely from my sight. Which way is the way into the heart of the matter, the cave of delights holds my interest, the master of ceremonies calls me forth,
come into the cave, see things you’ve never known, share the thoughts you never speak, the cave of delights will have you spitting it out, never to be held onto again.
Free the conversations that make you fear, and split your mind in two, just lay them down in the cauldron, they’ll be cooked and eaten. Fear not the thoughts, we’ll just salt them and eat them up, sprinkle some blood on them for extra taste, yum, swallow them broken. Thoughts are made up of air, they aren’t real, they mean nothing when flying on the stars. Shout the demented ideas out of your chasm, leave them to the wind, let them be carried out into oblivion. Shadows melt me, the owl screeches, seeking, and searching, I scamper up the rocks, slipping and sliding, talons grab me and lift me to the top, feathers flying through my fingers, casting compassion onto the breeze
further floating into the emptiness, brings me the demise of thoughts. Cascading freely
catching the raindrops, savoring the taste, so fresh, so wet. Replenishing the sacrifice
finding a mirror to take me home. Reflecting the red moon in my eyes, I fall into slumber as the hammock sways in the night. Holding me warmly, I arrive home.
wallowing in the truth of this nighttime fate. Falling into the black, spiders crawl onto my feet, snakes saunter down my legs, bats hold my head up while my hair is flaming. Getting through the disasters that make my fate, freedom in the outside of my mind.
Slashing this way and that, timing is everything, behold the blood dripping from my eyes, tears of fright fall freely from my sight. Which way is the way into the heart of the matter, the cave of delights holds my interest, the master of ceremonies calls me forth,
come into the cave, see things you’ve never known, share the thoughts you never speak, the cave of delights will have you spitting it out, never to be held onto again.
Free the conversations that make you fear, and split your mind in two, just lay them down in the cauldron, they’ll be cooked and eaten. Fear not the thoughts, we’ll just salt them and eat them up, sprinkle some blood on them for extra taste, yum, swallow them broken. Thoughts are made up of air, they aren’t real, they mean nothing when flying on the stars. Shout the demented ideas out of your chasm, leave them to the wind, let them be carried out into oblivion. Shadows melt me, the owl screeches, seeking, and searching, I scamper up the rocks, slipping and sliding, talons grab me and lift me to the top, feathers flying through my fingers, casting compassion onto the breeze
further floating into the emptiness, brings me the demise of thoughts. Cascading freely
catching the raindrops, savoring the taste, so fresh, so wet. Replenishing the sacrifice
finding a mirror to take me home. Reflecting the red moon in my eyes, I fall into slumber as the hammock sways in the night. Holding me warmly, I arrive home.
Abyss
Turning, swirling and tumbling, thrown into the dark,
not sure which way will relieve me of the pummeling,
limbs tossed in unnatural ways, sucked up and thrown down, effervescence bubbles up my nose and into my throat, surrounding me into the depths I reach for, continually being crashed into.
Surviving deeply, where is out, where is up?
blinded by the tumultuous rhythm that bleeds inside,
pulsating through this earthly body.
having trouble finding my self in this abyss.
darkness sets into my being with the continuous roar
that permeates the mind, its chilly.
stilted movements come, like a stiff doll.
stinging in my eyes, nose bubbles sucking in the salty cold,
wanting to breathe. being taken further out into the abyss,
darker into the shadows. where is hope? where is light?,
seeing shadows of others, scares my bones, becoming peaceful,
there is no struggle. allowing the surge to take me away,
twisting tongues lick my toes, shrouding me in slime, closing my limbs,
i fight for air, stealing me, tossing me, darkly churning,
giving up, i rest against undulation,
flopping into a ball, closing in the depths, my heart beckons to the light, seething with life, i struggle against this force of darkness,
the rough scrapes my skin, grasping I fall again and again.
quiet are the shadows I plow through, seeking, the way up.
washed clean, drenched alive,
ready for the next wave of the unknown.
not sure which way will relieve me of the pummeling,
limbs tossed in unnatural ways, sucked up and thrown down, effervescence bubbles up my nose and into my throat, surrounding me into the depths I reach for, continually being crashed into.
Surviving deeply, where is out, where is up?
blinded by the tumultuous rhythm that bleeds inside,
pulsating through this earthly body.
having trouble finding my self in this abyss.
darkness sets into my being with the continuous roar
that permeates the mind, its chilly.
stilted movements come, like a stiff doll.
stinging in my eyes, nose bubbles sucking in the salty cold,
wanting to breathe. being taken further out into the abyss,
darker into the shadows. where is hope? where is light?,
seeing shadows of others, scares my bones, becoming peaceful,
there is no struggle. allowing the surge to take me away,
twisting tongues lick my toes, shrouding me in slime, closing my limbs,
i fight for air, stealing me, tossing me, darkly churning,
giving up, i rest against undulation,
flopping into a ball, closing in the depths, my heart beckons to the light, seething with life, i struggle against this force of darkness,
the rough scrapes my skin, grasping I fall again and again.
quiet are the shadows I plow through, seeking, the way up.
washed clean, drenched alive,
ready for the next wave of the unknown.
Abandon
in paradise, surrounded by the stately guardians, statuesquely, they hold
the knowledge. slipping down a path filled with fairy green softness, I glide, I find the plank that beckons to me, and melt. contemplating the verdant lushness that is everywhere. I begin to move front to back, side to side, I am quietly here. the tumultuous white flows tumbling forth, spilling every which way. it floods the senses, music begins to fill the misty air. a symphony heard, tonal qualities flood my being, the river joins in, music being made in time to my movement, fractals of nature glisten in the sun, surveying the pulsing atmosphere, alive with life, boulders dance under flowing white abandon.
time stops here. i am flooded with the pervasiveness of this place, the lushness of depth. twinkling fairies dance in the shadows, a siren song is heard. calling me to frolic, scents are permeating each cell,
this is religion,
the guardians stand lovingly protecting, humming, they are swirling to the songs bestowed by the grace of this place.
captivated, I breathe in the grace, never to know,
a ringing, a tonal hush comes over, the lights in my eyes , pulsating indigo purple,
crimson floods the thoughts i dare, orbs fall from the misty nothingness and shatter. thousands of lights bounce into the mist. humbly I sway, listening, magic abounds the scent sickly sweet, all the colors are in my sight, as the fairies dance around, running , twirling secrets, moonlight beckons the truth. mist blows the hair over my face, my body, drenched in abandon,
writhing in time, slithering into the green, releasing the ties binding of life, freedom in the dance.
the knowledge. slipping down a path filled with fairy green softness, I glide, I find the plank that beckons to me, and melt. contemplating the verdant lushness that is everywhere. I begin to move front to back, side to side, I am quietly here. the tumultuous white flows tumbling forth, spilling every which way. it floods the senses, music begins to fill the misty air. a symphony heard, tonal qualities flood my being, the river joins in, music being made in time to my movement, fractals of nature glisten in the sun, surveying the pulsing atmosphere, alive with life, boulders dance under flowing white abandon.
time stops here. i am flooded with the pervasiveness of this place, the lushness of depth. twinkling fairies dance in the shadows, a siren song is heard. calling me to frolic, scents are permeating each cell,
this is religion,
the guardians stand lovingly protecting, humming, they are swirling to the songs bestowed by the grace of this place.
captivated, I breathe in the grace, never to know,
a ringing, a tonal hush comes over, the lights in my eyes , pulsating indigo purple,
crimson floods the thoughts i dare, orbs fall from the misty nothingness and shatter. thousands of lights bounce into the mist. humbly I sway, listening, magic abounds the scent sickly sweet, all the colors are in my sight, as the fairies dance around, running , twirling secrets, moonlight beckons the truth. mist blows the hair over my face, my body, drenched in abandon,
writhing in time, slithering into the green, releasing the ties binding of life, freedom in the dance.
Layers
Oh wow, the layers have been peeling away.
I never knew there were so many layers.
I mean what am I an onion?
Enough already.
The layers keep going,
I thought they’d run out when the core of the onion was reached,
but noooooo more are being found.
I guess I am one freaking big onion.
Oh and you know how onions are, they make you cry.
Oh and are you ready for this, check this out....
So this onion, it doesn’t seem satisfied with all the peeling, and all the tears.
I am reaching depths I never knew,
I feel like I am going down a drain, me and all the layers,
we’re riding a boat being swept into the vortex, peels are swirling all around.
I can barely see where i am going,
and the smell, don’t get me started.
I don’t even like raw onions, yet, that is what I have become.
I mean really, how about those earthquakes, they’re really shaking things up
Oh and Onions are smelly,
The layers are definitely smelly, yuck, so stinky, I want to throw them in the trash.
Is that where I will end up, in the trash?
I think I will buy a new bag of onions and swallow them whole,
so theres even more layers to be peeled.
Ha that would be funny,
just watch me turn into a big onion, and then a big pile of smelly layers.
I mean can’t an onion get a break?
And how am I supposed to see with all these layers flying around?
I never knew there were so many layers.
I mean what am I an onion?
Enough already.
The layers keep going,
I thought they’d run out when the core of the onion was reached,
but noooooo more are being found.
I guess I am one freaking big onion.
Oh and you know how onions are, they make you cry.
Oh and are you ready for this, check this out....
So this onion, it doesn’t seem satisfied with all the peeling, and all the tears.
I am reaching depths I never knew,
I feel like I am going down a drain, me and all the layers,
we’re riding a boat being swept into the vortex, peels are swirling all around.
I can barely see where i am going,
and the smell, don’t get me started.
I don’t even like raw onions, yet, that is what I have become.
I mean really, how about those earthquakes, they’re really shaking things up
Oh and Onions are smelly,
The layers are definitely smelly, yuck, so stinky, I want to throw them in the trash.
Is that where I will end up, in the trash?
I think I will buy a new bag of onions and swallow them whole,
so theres even more layers to be peeled.
Ha that would be funny,
just watch me turn into a big onion, and then a big pile of smelly layers.
I mean can’t an onion get a break?
And how am I supposed to see with all these layers flying around?
Cloud
I am stuck in a cloud today. It’s so thick,
it permeates everything around me.
It is seeping into my pure existence.
It is swallowing me whole.
I can’t keep it out.
It reaches up to the heavens and down inside the earth.
It’s hard to get my breath, it feels like I am being slowly choked.
At times I find myself grasping for air,
wanting to see the clarity that I know can be found.
What is this cloud that surrounds?
I have a headache from it.
I want to escape.
I am not being allowed,
I fight to get out of this cloud,
It keeps me where my feet are rooted,
I can’t move It’s so unfair.
I am bound inside the cloud.
I haven’t felt a cloud like this before.
Holding me down, choking me, bringing up my fears.
What if I can never get out?
Who will see me in this thickness?
I want to find someone who will hold me and melt this cloud,
where are you?
come on hold me tight, lay next to me and wrap me in your warm arms. Don’t let the darkness seep in.
Please?
By myself in this thick cloud that is turning into my existence.
It’s dark in here, and I am afraid.
Where is everyone else?
How come I am the only one here?
I can’t seem to find my way out.
The air is so thick and moist. It’s cold too.
I shiver to think this is it for me.
I am holding up a mirror to where I know the sky is,
I want to burn a hole in this cloud, so that the sun may shine again.
I need the rays of sun to warm my body and make me feel that everything is gonna be alright.
I have held up the mirror for hours, it’s not working.
I think I will just curl myself into a ball and lay here.
In the cloud that I have become.
it permeates everything around me.
It is seeping into my pure existence.
It is swallowing me whole.
I can’t keep it out.
It reaches up to the heavens and down inside the earth.
It’s hard to get my breath, it feels like I am being slowly choked.
At times I find myself grasping for air,
wanting to see the clarity that I know can be found.
What is this cloud that surrounds?
I have a headache from it.
I want to escape.
I am not being allowed,
I fight to get out of this cloud,
It keeps me where my feet are rooted,
I can’t move It’s so unfair.
I am bound inside the cloud.
I haven’t felt a cloud like this before.
Holding me down, choking me, bringing up my fears.
What if I can never get out?
Who will see me in this thickness?
I want to find someone who will hold me and melt this cloud,
where are you?
come on hold me tight, lay next to me and wrap me in your warm arms. Don’t let the darkness seep in.
Please?
By myself in this thick cloud that is turning into my existence.
It’s dark in here, and I am afraid.
Where is everyone else?
How come I am the only one here?
I can’t seem to find my way out.
The air is so thick and moist. It’s cold too.
I shiver to think this is it for me.
I am holding up a mirror to where I know the sky is,
I want to burn a hole in this cloud, so that the sun may shine again.
I need the rays of sun to warm my body and make me feel that everything is gonna be alright.
I have held up the mirror for hours, it’s not working.
I think I will just curl myself into a ball and lay here.
In the cloud that I have become.
Disaster
Turmoil is tasteless as It ravages through my body. Timing is the endless curse which is bestowed upon me. Writhing through, I look to the sun for answers. I camouflage my existence through the laughter I create. It is getting hard to be so happy when life is torturing me through circumstance. Is there a way out of this mess that has enveloped this life? I ride the escalator up into the nothingness that I am, surveying the damage that has been bestowed upon me. Creating disaster through relationships that no longer serve. I am the disaster that fills my mouth, bitter tasting, twisted sight, seeking those who elude my space. Wanting, waiting for the right time, to cast aside all my shadows and become free. I climb the knotted tree to gain a better perspective. Spiders cry out of my navel, the connection to life itself. My eyes bleed with the choices I made, there’s no turning back. I ride the train to the landfill seeking answers in the trash that abounds. Digging deeper never knowing why, let me get out of here, before I melt away. Time is constricting my throat as I ride on the wing of a hairy fly. Fireflies buzz my ears as I fry the nighttime sky. Doom is never an option as I look to the newness of the pain. I must create a new reality, so that I may rise and be discovered. Contemplation makes me question, because I can. Fall into the tomorrows, leaving yesterday behind. Slithering forward, not making a sound I wiggle into the darkness that lives by my side. Where is the opening to the cave of blackness, it envies me as I look around, surveying the blood that has been splattered, the writing is on the wall. Batwings carry me along the dusty trail, shattering glass makes me feel better, bleeding from the outside, I lick it off my skin as it drips from inside. Taunting my heart I awaken from within flying away to Neverland is where I want to be.
Take me there, ride me upon your back, lets create anew and see what comes, leave the shadows behind never serving a purpose, I boil the midnight oil and slather it upon the rocks, shining from the moon glad for my delight, as I fight my way through this disaster that is my life.
Take me there, ride me upon your back, lets create anew and see what comes, leave the shadows behind never serving a purpose, I boil the midnight oil and slather it upon the rocks, shining from the moon glad for my delight, as I fight my way through this disaster that is my life.
Madness
It was you who held my heart in a steel cage, for in a moment I turned to dust, never feeling the blood that dripped from my eyes, your purple gaze cut right through me, your lashing tongue lapping it up,
drink my dust, fill yourself
with my powdery demise and float upon the heavens placed within my thighs.
I slipped into your languid pools of delight, cascading into blue, holding me close, The time has come to eat your silvery thoughts, let’s just have some de thorned birds fallen out of flight, we’ll stab them with the golden light, that falls from the sky, pin pricks of an oceans delight, the tide is dark, as the lights dull the night. Come into my screaming yawn, feel the pain I shout out of my tunnel, bound tight inside the pink moon, watching the stars melt into sweet harmony, the bat wings broadcast the nighttime news, the horse jumped out of the mountain, wings on its tail, calling all the critters to come dancing out of the shadows, melting down the blue rivers edge, cuts me into pieces as I float away, down the passage of an inside hell, I fight for my courage to get through this spell of darkness that lives in my heart, unchained by the memories of what once was, hiding inside the cave that is the navel of your smile. Eating ripe truths after each mile we time lightly, lest we know why. Jump into the pulsating jungle, tumble into yourself and watch the moonlight grow, steal a wonder and cast it into the dark, delight in the nothingness that is my face, give me a chance to cleanse my fate,
i am right here in the cave that is my heart, hollow and empty pulsating with the buzzing of whats insight, my ring master decides my future, the clock spins backwards into the feathers that loose flight, all the time denied searching for the truth, it’s locked up in the tree house, made with monkey fur, swing on the limbs to get inside, greeted by the headless snakes, I search for a way out beneath the sparkly garden gate, sharks fly through the sky, catching stray thoughts as they fly by, chewing into the past that marks my skin, showing the ragedness of the choices I made, where is the who is the why is it so, following into the nothingness is where i choose to go. Ride the nighttime scales down into the morning. Preaching time is haunting without shadows knocking, fill the cup let’s drink the madness in.
drink my dust, fill yourself
with my powdery demise and float upon the heavens placed within my thighs.
I slipped into your languid pools of delight, cascading into blue, holding me close, The time has come to eat your silvery thoughts, let’s just have some de thorned birds fallen out of flight, we’ll stab them with the golden light, that falls from the sky, pin pricks of an oceans delight, the tide is dark, as the lights dull the night. Come into my screaming yawn, feel the pain I shout out of my tunnel, bound tight inside the pink moon, watching the stars melt into sweet harmony, the bat wings broadcast the nighttime news, the horse jumped out of the mountain, wings on its tail, calling all the critters to come dancing out of the shadows, melting down the blue rivers edge, cuts me into pieces as I float away, down the passage of an inside hell, I fight for my courage to get through this spell of darkness that lives in my heart, unchained by the memories of what once was, hiding inside the cave that is the navel of your smile. Eating ripe truths after each mile we time lightly, lest we know why. Jump into the pulsating jungle, tumble into yourself and watch the moonlight grow, steal a wonder and cast it into the dark, delight in the nothingness that is my face, give me a chance to cleanse my fate,
i am right here in the cave that is my heart, hollow and empty pulsating with the buzzing of whats insight, my ring master decides my future, the clock spins backwards into the feathers that loose flight, all the time denied searching for the truth, it’s locked up in the tree house, made with monkey fur, swing on the limbs to get inside, greeted by the headless snakes, I search for a way out beneath the sparkly garden gate, sharks fly through the sky, catching stray thoughts as they fly by, chewing into the past that marks my skin, showing the ragedness of the choices I made, where is the who is the why is it so, following into the nothingness is where i choose to go. Ride the nighttime scales down into the morning. Preaching time is haunting without shadows knocking, fill the cup let’s drink the madness in.
You
I fought for you, everytime I could.
It just kept happening.
No matter what I did,
it was never enough.
You were always dis satisfied at my attempts
I did the best I could.
Nothing mattered.
You mattered.
I gave you everything I had,
You lied to me
I sacrificed for you,
You played with me
I bled for you
you laughed at me
and told me
don’t waste your time
I’m not worth it.
still,
I fought for you
nothing else mattered
you mattered
I fought for you,
until it was too late
then I walked away.
It just kept happening.
No matter what I did,
it was never enough.
You were always dis satisfied at my attempts
I did the best I could.
Nothing mattered.
You mattered.
I gave you everything I had,
You lied to me
I sacrificed for you,
You played with me
I bled for you
you laughed at me
and told me
don’t waste your time
I’m not worth it.
still,
I fought for you
nothing else mattered
you mattered
I fought for you,
until it was too late
then I walked away.
frolic
we are inspired
four women
we frolic in the waves
bubbles abound
giggles surround
we find our way
to the secret spot
we cover each other
in coconut coffee scrub
we swirl it all over
each others bodies
giggling all the while
covering all our skin
the sun bakes us
we rinse in the sea
springing forth
we become free
four women
we frolic in the waves
bubbles abound
giggles surround
we find our way
to the secret spot
we cover each other
in coconut coffee scrub
we swirl it all over
each others bodies
giggling all the while
covering all our skin
the sun bakes us
we rinse in the sea
springing forth
we become free
Flow
so free
am I feeling today,
free to romp
in the fields of my mind.
free to run
in the melodies i hum.
free is me.
there is no one in my way,
I go wherever I want.
I stumble, yes and sometimes I fall,
I always pick myself back up
and go for some more
I cannot help my self
I desire the flow of the freedom I feel
no constraints of someone else’s will to consider
only mine
it makes it easy that way,
not tied to another’s boundaries
I am boundless on the only road I know
I will flow within the only flow I know
am I feeling today,
free to romp
in the fields of my mind.
free to run
in the melodies i hum.
free is me.
there is no one in my way,
I go wherever I want.
I stumble, yes and sometimes I fall,
I always pick myself back up
and go for some more
I cannot help my self
I desire the flow of the freedom I feel
no constraints of someone else’s will to consider
only mine
it makes it easy that way,
not tied to another’s boundaries
I am boundless on the only road I know
I will flow within the only flow I know
Jude
Jude stood at the top of the steps, waiting for the wedding to begin. She had on a beautiful navy blue lace dress, her shiny dark hair reaching down to her shoulders. She was smiling. It was a happy day, her Father was marrying his true love. the celebration began and I went to say hello to her and give her a hug, she is my neice, you know. As we separated from the hug, i stepped back and noticed her tattoos. There were owls, funny faces and two anchors that were on her chest. Then, as my eyes dropped, I saw the scars, they were all along her arms and on her thighs. Jude had been a cutter. The scars were raised and thick, They wept of her past unhappiness. I was shocked to see so man y , I knew she had been a cutter, and Her body revealed the truth. It made me sad to think she had gone through so much pain in her young life. I knew how she felt, having been there myself. There was nothing to say.
I hugged her again and filled her with my love. She had been sent away to a boarding school for troubled girls, somewhere in Utah. They had to take her in the middle of the night, as she wouldn’t have gone willingly. She spent two years there. she was able to finish school, away from the distractions and trouble of los angeles. Maybe she came to terms with her past while she was there, i don’t know for sure. I do know that she is now settled in the high mountains of california, living life in a healthy way. She has a nice boyfriend there and a job. The scars are a constant reminder of the pain she endured, there’s no erasing them. I suppose thats why she has a lot of tattoos, its a way to give yourself pain in an acceptable way, ANd with tattoos, knowone knows the depth of the pain you are covering up......
I hugged her again and filled her with my love. She had been sent away to a boarding school for troubled girls, somewhere in Utah. They had to take her in the middle of the night, as she wouldn’t have gone willingly. She spent two years there. she was able to finish school, away from the distractions and trouble of los angeles. Maybe she came to terms with her past while she was there, i don’t know for sure. I do know that she is now settled in the high mountains of california, living life in a healthy way. She has a nice boyfriend there and a job. The scars are a constant reminder of the pain she endured, there’s no erasing them. I suppose thats why she has a lot of tattoos, its a way to give yourself pain in an acceptable way, ANd with tattoos, knowone knows the depth of the pain you are covering up......
Lines
these binds that hold me, they keep me down, out of reach. I’m tied to the gatekeeper, it makes it easier that way. night falls upon us as I gaze out his window and I see into the tower of his soul. I invite my self in and I dwell there, I like what feel, there is a kinship within us. Tied together by some knowing deed.
Cinderella shoes can’t carry me away from this.
I slide over next to him and place my hand upon his thigh. He looks at me, he holds my gaze for some time. Not now he says, lines must be drawn. I am being moved aside. I walk over to the bar and pour us each a glass of wine. We make a toast and we begin. We draw the lines, on the sand, up the stairs, over the water, and in the tree lined street, across the Merry go Round and through the forest. until we find ourselves at the edge of the oceans reach. That is where we discover the beginning of each other. Now tied together, we sway, feeling how, it took so long to get here,
our hearts are pounding with in the possibilities of the new times to come.
The lines we drew, have now become none.
Cinderella shoes can’t carry me away from this.
I slide over next to him and place my hand upon his thigh. He looks at me, he holds my gaze for some time. Not now he says, lines must be drawn. I am being moved aside. I walk over to the bar and pour us each a glass of wine. We make a toast and we begin. We draw the lines, on the sand, up the stairs, over the water, and in the tree lined street, across the Merry go Round and through the forest. until we find ourselves at the edge of the oceans reach. That is where we discover the beginning of each other. Now tied together, we sway, feeling how, it took so long to get here,
our hearts are pounding with in the possibilities of the new times to come.
The lines we drew, have now become none.
familar
Sleep hasn’t been coming so easily to me. Last night I tossed and turned until 3am. I have been sleeping in strange beds this past week. Last night I made it home to my own bed. It felt somehow familiar yet unfamiliar. The sheets were as soft as always and the mattress inviting, I thought sleep would come easily. It has been this way sometimes. Always on the edge. Cautious about what the dreams will bring into me. I love to sleep.... in my bed. The dreams,
lately they come in abundance. Lost friends appear to me in surreal circumstances. Lovers come around, to revisit old, yet unfamiliar haunts. They stand upon shaky ground in the dreams. Out of reach, yet in the situations of my dreams. I am tired after all this life I have lived. So perfect it has all been, wether or not it has been challenging. I long for a deep rest. I seek out the love from within. I have lost many loved ones along the way to death or abandonment. Having to go their own way, or me mine...
Longing to float unto a place where I may truly rest and recover this tired body, oh that’s what I truly long for.
lately they come in abundance. Lost friends appear to me in surreal circumstances. Lovers come around, to revisit old, yet unfamiliar haunts. They stand upon shaky ground in the dreams. Out of reach, yet in the situations of my dreams. I am tired after all this life I have lived. So perfect it has all been, wether or not it has been challenging. I long for a deep rest. I seek out the love from within. I have lost many loved ones along the way to death or abandonment. Having to go their own way, or me mine...
Longing to float unto a place where I may truly rest and recover this tired body, oh that’s what I truly long for.
feathers
i flew the pink elephant to the next rock. Jumped off and floated down through the water sky to land on the rock made of feathers. got onto the tree and glided away. Leaves falling out of the tree trunk, dropping along the streets. Blue people float on the escalator sidewalk, feet never touching the ground. dinner at the house made of noodles, lots of food flowing into the hole in my head, I opened the hole and down the food slid. Into the black cavern that was my body. My body has become a black cave. so deep it goes, bottomless i think, i am not sure, it is too deep to know. I get lost in the blackness that i have become. Drove the tree up the mountain to go breathe. Met some kindred folk at the cloud and breathed out loud. So good it felt. I will breathe again Tuesday. I don’t breathe now being a deep cave, the air flows in and out without me. The waves slosh upon the feathered shore. I lay on the magic carpet and cruise over the feather rock, taking in the smells and sights of all the birds and beasts that multiply within my eyes. Honey drips from the water sky, life is sweeter for it. Blue people look up to catch some honey on their lips that are made of plates. some move quickly and shatter into a thousand pieces, oh there goes fred, he’s gone now. sweep up the pieces and cast them into a star. Live on, in the night sky. The fan of camels blows onto me. Drink up the water sky until it disappears into the cotton candy night. animals are flying birds are walking. Time is upside down. The earth is catapulted into the past. start over yesterday. Surreal is real. real is surreal, can you tell the difference? my blood flows outside of my body, circling around pulsating as it gives me life. the breath pumps life into the blood as it flows by. Walking on my hands my feet are on my face. My head is sweeping the floor as I walk. Hair has grown on my toes. my eyes are on my heels, guiding me in a different space. I leave no trace as I disappear into a new day of yesterday. Tomorrow is last year, there is no today left.
Black
She punched her fist into the crisp night air, not knowing where it will hit. She slandered her tender body, kindness slipping out of the kinks she wore on her hips, freaking out she rode the trolley to no where. Clashing with the other passengers, tortured thoughts arise in her mind, kindness tightens inside her throat, she flies out of the trolley doors down the stairs into a nightmarish hell. the seashore beckons unto her, wanting to be swallowed up into the blackness that surrounds,
coldness is the water, waiting to be enveloped, crunching, kicking, running towards death, crashing glass is shattered everywhere, the blood spirals out of her thighs, she is slit, swirling into a daze, stitches tighten the wound, kissing the night goodbye she clenches her teeth to speak the truth, persueing the child twisting out of her grip, darkness again, secrets revealed in the ropes, she ties herself up with. Clamoring for the light, kicking and screaming all the way for darkness constantly follows her.
Into the cemetery to seek out the lost ones, flames from the lit stick she carries ignite her purpose catalistic feelings surmount inside her fractured head, distraction by the flames, loosing sight finding centipedes on the tombstones crawling all over, their clicking mouths seeking delight in eating cockroaches.
Frightened and running, screaming comes out of her throat, faster, she runs out of sight. She goes into the sea, the blackness she knows so well. Screeching owls light the way, tumbling down into the cave kissed by the shore, Broken wings feathers scattered, she kicks them up into a flurry, cascading down around her creating a cloak to hide her darkness. Catastrophes unite her. Un tying her the feathers drop. Perfectly she wails screaming into the shattered stillness that has brought her into this nightmare, writhing in the black sand that is surrounding her body, feathers being eaten, crunching in the night. Sand covers the dark thoughts she hides
perfectly in the cave, no where will find her.
coldness is the water, waiting to be enveloped, crunching, kicking, running towards death, crashing glass is shattered everywhere, the blood spirals out of her thighs, she is slit, swirling into a daze, stitches tighten the wound, kissing the night goodbye she clenches her teeth to speak the truth, persueing the child twisting out of her grip, darkness again, secrets revealed in the ropes, she ties herself up with. Clamoring for the light, kicking and screaming all the way for darkness constantly follows her.
Into the cemetery to seek out the lost ones, flames from the lit stick she carries ignite her purpose catalistic feelings surmount inside her fractured head, distraction by the flames, loosing sight finding centipedes on the tombstones crawling all over, their clicking mouths seeking delight in eating cockroaches.
Frightened and running, screaming comes out of her throat, faster, she runs out of sight. She goes into the sea, the blackness she knows so well. Screeching owls light the way, tumbling down into the cave kissed by the shore, Broken wings feathers scattered, she kicks them up into a flurry, cascading down around her creating a cloak to hide her darkness. Catastrophes unite her. Un tying her the feathers drop. Perfectly she wails screaming into the shattered stillness that has brought her into this nightmare, writhing in the black sand that is surrounding her body, feathers being eaten, crunching in the night. Sand covers the dark thoughts she hides
perfectly in the cave, no where will find her.
Grief
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief it’ll be good for you.
How do I let my Daddy go? He is the one man who never let me down.
He loved me like no other, always happy to see me. I was his little girl and he sat me on his knee. Told me stories to make me laugh, make me feel secure. I bought him flowers with my allowance every week, to show him he was dear.
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
How do I let my Mama go, she was the only one to teach me, how to cook, how to laugh, how to sew. She was the best cook, dinner every night at seven, I could only aspire to the heights of her cooking heaven. It’s how I made her proud of me, by cooking as well as her. How to choose fresh food, how to prepare it with love, that’s what makes any food taste good, infuse it with love, and no one at the table will go hungry.
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
How can I let my parents, go, in this life, they’re the only ones who loved me so, no matter what I did, they still loved me, Maybe kicked me in the ass, I deserved it no doubt, I know that for sure. Yet they loved me still, as only a parent can. I miss them so, it hasn’t been long since they left. It’s hard on my heart everyday, there is a sadness that grows, who knows when I will meet them again?
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
I feel like I am adrift in this world, no thread of umbilical cord back to my Mother’s belly, how do I survive floating out here on my own?
I don’t have much opportunity to mourn, every day I must be “on”
It’s the job I have there is no time to let go of my grief, no space to call my own. So how do I do it, can anyone tell me?
I am ready to let go, to not hold them back, they have gone to the other side and I want them to be free.
I want to be free, to be free of this grief. It’ll be good for me, if I can let go, let go of the grief.
How do I let my Daddy go? He is the one man who never let me down.
He loved me like no other, always happy to see me. I was his little girl and he sat me on his knee. Told me stories to make me laugh, make me feel secure. I bought him flowers with my allowance every week, to show him he was dear.
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
How do I let my Mama go, she was the only one to teach me, how to cook, how to laugh, how to sew. She was the best cook, dinner every night at seven, I could only aspire to the heights of her cooking heaven. It’s how I made her proud of me, by cooking as well as her. How to choose fresh food, how to prepare it with love, that’s what makes any food taste good, infuse it with love, and no one at the table will go hungry.
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
How can I let my parents, go, in this life, they’re the only ones who loved me so, no matter what I did, they still loved me, Maybe kicked me in the ass, I deserved it no doubt, I know that for sure. Yet they loved me still, as only a parent can. I miss them so, it hasn’t been long since they left. It’s hard on my heart everyday, there is a sadness that grows, who knows when I will meet them again?
They say it’s time to let go, let go of your grief, it’ll be good for you.
I feel like I am adrift in this world, no thread of umbilical cord back to my Mother’s belly, how do I survive floating out here on my own?
I don’t have much opportunity to mourn, every day I must be “on”
It’s the job I have there is no time to let go of my grief, no space to call my own. So how do I do it, can anyone tell me?
I am ready to let go, to not hold them back, they have gone to the other side and I want them to be free.
I want to be free, to be free of this grief. It’ll be good for me, if I can let go, let go of the grief.
Painted
I paint the walls with tears. I miss you so tonight, mooning the stairs to the stars. I am beside candles head buried in a bed cover that smells like you. fish glass stares at me. glaring red nose. rose petal drink me to the brim. Where did you bake the walk away cake. Truly deeply maddening try swimming down under the way.
to the door, knot tying bell ringing sandwich king. Are you there. across the hills up the gulch i fly through the glass so sparkly and land at your well of heart. The well is deep, can i go down to the bottom and lift you butterscotch puppy. Paper flying into the streams. undoing me at the seams. which way to dive into the lovers. sway to Marvin Gaye, sex makes phoning no one an option, Mailbox slippage. treasure chest on your body. tears slipping slippery down the slide to the big splash, no where left to turn. float into the moat, around up down along the snake winding up my thigh. Heating up sweat covers my tongue lashing licking dragon eyes, don’t get singed it’s burning me up. send a letter to know one cares at the alligator playground.
Don’t fuck with me let me be. what are you swooning butterfly night sky. Build me a castle chocolate towers, honeycomb stairs climb into me. eat up the stairs reach the prize inside. just survive. fly along the magic carpet into the desert camel ride, whip me good and turn me loose on a holiday drive by. Swooning blue tip toe trees, along the mountain high walking along the sky rocks cracked the dandelion flowers, caterpillar cookies beat the eggs. russle up the bacon and say grace to my face, now swim away on the pearl lit plate.
I paint the walls with tears. I miss you so tonight, mooning the stairs to the stars. I am beside candles head buried in a bed cover that smells like you. fish glass stares at me. glaring red nose. rose petal drink me to the brim. Where did you bake the walk away cake. Truly deeply maddening try swimming down under the way.
to the door, knot tying bell ringing sandwich king. Are you there. across the hills up the gulch i fly through the glass so sparkly and land at your well of heart. The well is deep, can i go down to the bottom and lift you butterscotch puppy. Paper flying into the streams. undoing me at the seams. which way to dive into the lovers. sway to Marvin Gaye, sex makes phoning no one an option, Mailbox slippage. treasure chest on your body. tears slipping slippery down the slide to the big splash, no where left to turn. float into the moat, around up down along the snake winding up my thigh. Heating up sweat covers my tongue lashing licking dragon eyes, don’t get singed it’s burning me up. send a letter to know one cares at the alligator playground.
Don’t fuck with me let me be. what are you swooning butterfly night sky. Build me a castle chocolate towers, honeycomb stairs climb into me. eat up the stairs reach the prize inside. just survive. fly along the magic carpet into the desert camel ride, whip me good and turn me loose on a holiday drive by. Swooning blue tip toe trees, along the mountain high walking along the sky rocks cracked the dandelion flowers, caterpillar cookies beat the eggs. russle up the bacon and say grace to my face, now swim away on the pearl lit plate.
Slip Slide
Driving along the volcano, windmills spiral. The wheel turnings buttermilk scream. Going along to the far side clearing horses along the road. Free my butterfly mind Don’t delay the right of way. Longing for your sharing of secrets, bubblegum dreams night time pillow heaven. Where is the right of way heart song, cuppa joe will know why. Dilly dally ships bell sailing through the blue abyss that’s not to be missed. Magic Dragon ship flying into purple powder, sinking into the chowder that I wear so well. Purple lipstick on the trees. Horse carriage on my knees. Dancing moonlit shadows in the fire we go. Skirts up star twinkle toes. Forget me knot the flower says so. Kissing the blue sand on my hand feeling so sweet, meat, treat, RETREAT into the box of hay. Sun in my eyes, the blinding tears of fears I bring out in you. Pie in my sky fried chicken thigh, doodle up drink the dread, Milking cows must be fed. Red harbor, red haven hide me close, check the goose into the out house we go. Velvet waves curdle the sky, fingernails scratch my heart, ripping the skin along my drain, muscles tighten, a wall is put up, where is the trust in my throat, that is needed so much. Time ticks backward along the wall it crawls. Falling flailing waves are crashing, crashing into me, they flood my harbor, creosote longings, pillars to ride, lift up the flood gates, let the sky fly through. In the not knowing I reside, floating along the ebb and flow of tide, time is tide, tide is time & it washes me clean. Dog tails know the way, sprinkle stardust point me in the right direction. Stairs to the stars, petals flow from my eyes, lighting up the trail. Gossamer wings flutter in my head, now it is time for bed
Driving along the volcano, windmills spiral. The wheel turnings buttermilk scream. Going along to the far side clearing horses along the road. Free my butterfly mind Don’t delay the right of way. Longing for your sharing of secrets, bubblegum dreams night time pillow heaven. Where is the right of way heart song, cuppa joe will know why. Dilly dally ships bell sailing through the blue abyss that’s not to be missed. Magic Dragon ship flying into purple powder, sinking into the chowder that I wear so well. Purple lipstick on the trees. Horse carriage on my knees. Dancing moonlit shadows in the fire we go. Skirts up star twinkle toes. Forget me knot the flower says so. Kissing the blue sand on my hand feeling so sweet, meat, treat, RETREAT into the box of hay. Sun in my eyes, the blinding tears of fears I bring out in you. Pie in my sky fried chicken thigh, doodle up drink the dread, Milking cows must be fed. Red harbor, red haven hide me close, check the goose into the out house we go. Velvet waves curdle the sky, fingernails scratch my heart, ripping the skin along my drain, muscles tighten, a wall is put up, where is the trust in my throat, that is needed so much. Time ticks backward along the wall it crawls. Falling flailing waves are crashing, crashing into me, they flood my harbor, creosote longings, pillars to ride, lift up the flood gates, let the sky fly through. In the not knowing I reside, floating along the ebb and flow of tide, time is tide, tide is time & it washes me clean. Dog tails know the way, sprinkle stardust point me in the right direction. Stairs to the stars, petals flow from my eyes, lighting up the trail. Gossamer wings flutter in my head, now it is time for bed
holo holo
Followed my way to south side glow, sailing with the wind, blue skies beckon, unicorn tribes frolic in the sea jungle beats undulate from behind. Whipped silk envelopes me, rocking from aside, turning, blue shirt flies by, quick the boat is coming, slicing azure waves, gravy is served on board, cranberry sails & water in the duck. Wild energy comes in and recedes. Ukulele musings snowdrops fall, the fling is over he said to her face. Feelings drop lead weight style, she is falling back into her previous resting place. Always with grace she smiles and floats away, riding the moonlight high across the clear blue sky. The affair has died said his blue eyes, I’ve met another and it looks like serious tides. Nice to know you. so intimately we rode the whales cresting in the starlight, we went into a depth some never get to know. Big belly pie upon the beach joy flies by, green trees rustle. cookies delight my tastebud tummy. frogs frolic with dogs as the baby flies. giving thanks for the egg as I wade in the golden glow, a sadness has crept into my inner flow, no more attempts at completion, eat the carrot soup and don’t fake the bacon. Where is the next rodeo? the rocks are exposed by the waves crashing. maybe it’s time for an adventure, far away from here.
Transformation
I sit here on my chair, the wind is blowing, the palm
trees sway, people are playing with a toy helicopter.
The little boy needs help with his toy, up it goes high
into the air & down it floats, spinning. The hammock is
empty, the sound of camp workers running machines. I
did kriya on the beach this morning. I did it on the
sand, I did it and the sun fell upon my body as it rose
in the sky & warmed me as I breathed into the day. I
breathed into you, I breathed all over you, into your
ears, onto your toes, I breathed love all over you.
Love give me life, life give me love, give me life
love, give me love life. O the beach I sit, I am alone
in a group. I sit and write, the sun upon my face, more
freckles grow. Children playing in the surf, running in
and out. Laughter behind me, beach music playing.
Someone is goofing with a song. There is a sailboat on
the horizon, whales exhale nearby, long lengths
swimming, the moon is in the sky with the sun shinning.
Bliss is this, this is bliss. Words come emptily to me,
come into me, don’t leave me empty. I can fill myself, I
can fill someone else. Can you fill me? Can-You-Fill-Me?
Waves crash into me deeply, tilting me forward into the
rush, I tumble, I tumble deep into the void, the void
that is you. I feel a void in me. Where is the fullness
since I met you? I feel the void in you. Will you be
filled? I feel the vacancy in your heart, and we are
miles apart. Can we find our way into each other’s hearts?
My heart is bursting at the seams.
I look at the past, I look at it as a movie, a movie I was
the star of.
I am no longer a part of it.
I want no part of it,
let it lay where it is, in the past.
trees sway, people are playing with a toy helicopter.
The little boy needs help with his toy, up it goes high
into the air & down it floats, spinning. The hammock is
empty, the sound of camp workers running machines. I
did kriya on the beach this morning. I did it on the
sand, I did it and the sun fell upon my body as it rose
in the sky & warmed me as I breathed into the day. I
breathed into you, I breathed all over you, into your
ears, onto your toes, I breathed love all over you.
Love give me life, life give me love, give me life
love, give me love life. O the beach I sit, I am alone
in a group. I sit and write, the sun upon my face, more
freckles grow. Children playing in the surf, running in
and out. Laughter behind me, beach music playing.
Someone is goofing with a song. There is a sailboat on
the horizon, whales exhale nearby, long lengths
swimming, the moon is in the sky with the sun shinning.
Bliss is this, this is bliss. Words come emptily to me,
come into me, don’t leave me empty. I can fill myself, I
can fill someone else. Can you fill me? Can-You-Fill-Me?
Waves crash into me deeply, tilting me forward into the
rush, I tumble, I tumble deep into the void, the void
that is you. I feel a void in me. Where is the fullness
since I met you? I feel the void in you. Will you be
filled? I feel the vacancy in your heart, and we are
miles apart. Can we find our way into each other’s hearts?
My heart is bursting at the seams.
I look at the past, I look at it as a movie, a movie I was
the star of.
I am no longer a part of it.
I want no part of it,
let it lay where it is, in the past.
Wound Tight
Today is a new day apple pie. The sky is cloudy marshmellow riot flies by. Flipper fly flipper die, suicide try. Tell nutty i came by. I need to wash and why. Came home without the bone. Didn’t get to visit the fountain. Blades of grass vibrate under my swan song delight. I like to write, a delight in flight, zooming by the penguins along side the flying whales, down into starfish caves, up against a zebra wall. Catch me if I fall zero degrees north into me, do not know where I’ll sleep, on top of a jeep, in the african savannah I go, deep into the grass keeping low, flight up to the top of an elephant tail. Slide down the hill into the muck. I keep it up. Up high in the toes, down low in the bellybutton undress. Peaches cheeks rub my thigh. splish splash on the eyelash, bottle of gum rumpa pum pum. I fly through your thigh, dripping with butter, roast your noodles and serve a plate, pour the gravy on the dog. People are popsicles tired weights on my heart. Let’s begin to light the sky. It is dark and rainy, blow the clouds away to another day. I am true blue cheese today. Only the lamp knows, my plight. Table top flip flop. Red toes, do you know the way to umbrella land? Writing this road, to the toad. into the pond fishes fly. Petals drop dead. Floating to the underground. Missed my date, slept in late. Whirling around, touching the tan. The bush is cut, ready to slurp it up.