Tuesday
We stand on the outside, holding hands, looking in at our life. My soul feels listless, filled and empty all at once. Our home is starting to take on the feel of lived in. I like how it looks from afar. I have this knack of never fitting into the roles I am placed in. I am satiated, but my stomach won’t stop growling for more.
I need to feel the sudden rains of change that will flood out my fears of stagnant waters. I need to be on the side of an unknown mountain in an unknown desert eating a watermelon, spitting the seeds to the sky and laughing while I watch the moon rise. I need to Wake Up in a tree, wearing every article of clothing I own, because the salty breeze is cold. I need to move.
This is the waiting season, where my unripe goals hand with the mangoes, crying for the summertime sun. This is the waiting season where I pace in the ever shrinking circle called Mundane, and exhale question marks. This is the waiting season where I dare not break the skin of my dreams until I can smell them from the ground.
This is the waiting season, this is the waiting season, this is waiting season. And all I have to do is hold out.
Force
Force
Pushed me
Up
And now
I’m diving
Too the depths
Of my womb
From here
I can see the light
That makes its way
Through my mouth
And I wonder
How long
How far
Will I swim
For the horizon line
That limits my eyes?
Will I gasp for breath
When I hit the shadow
Of the moon
In noon day sun?
If I was to climb
Up the mountains
Of my ribs
And stand on my tongue
Holding my heart
Would you look away
At the sight of my insides
Out?
Or, would you play
In the ripples
I leave on your shore?
Pushed me
Up
And now
I’m diving
Too the depths
Of my womb
From here
I can see the light
That makes its way
Through my mouth
And I wonder
How long
How far
Will I swim
For the horizon line
That limits my eyes?
Will I gasp for breath
When I hit the shadow
Of the moon
In noon day sun?
If I was to climb
Up the mountains
Of my ribs
And stand on my tongue
Holding my heart
Would you look away
At the sight of my insides
Out?
Or, would you play
In the ripples
I leave on your shore?
Fear
On my off time
I am just like you
I bather in tepid waters
Shallowed by facades
And murky
With the heartache
Of nostalgia
But
I cut off my fear
In order
To stamp out
The limitations
Of your expectations
And instead
I’ll braid back
Your fear
Of never knowing
What I am thinking
You see,
I see,
Past the perimeter
Of my eyes
Past the beyond
Of the greater beyond
And if you try
To pin me down
With your arrow of doubt
I’ll still weed your gardens
Plant your beds
And bottle my tears
To drench your soils
I’ve been growing
Into my smile
And it
Is wide
My dimples
Are the exclamation
On either side
And
If you like
I’ll let you kiss them
And pretend
I am what you want
To see
What you want
To be
Girl-woman
Daughter-sister
Lover-wife
Mother-muse
Exotic black
Who speaks
White
You will never know
You will never see
That I am watching
You
Watching me
And I don’t
Need permission
To let out your braids
And walk away.
I am just like you
I bather in tepid waters
Shallowed by facades
And murky
With the heartache
Of nostalgia
But
I cut off my fear
In order
To stamp out
The limitations
Of your expectations
And instead
I’ll braid back
Your fear
Of never knowing
What I am thinking
You see,
I see,
Past the perimeter
Of my eyes
Past the beyond
Of the greater beyond
And if you try
To pin me down
With your arrow of doubt
I’ll still weed your gardens
Plant your beds
And bottle my tears
To drench your soils
I’ve been growing
Into my smile
And it
Is wide
My dimples
Are the exclamation
On either side
And
If you like
I’ll let you kiss them
And pretend
I am what you want
To see
What you want
To be
Girl-woman
Daughter-sister
Lover-wife
Mother-muse
Exotic black
Who speaks
White
You will never know
You will never see
That I am watching
You
Watching me
And I don’t
Need permission
To let out your braids
And walk away.
He Let The Rain In
I had to use my imagination
To remember
That there
Are
Other ways to
Be
I’m learning how to recall
And know for myself,
This,
That my blanket of
Security
Is weaved together
By millions of moments
Yearning
To be cut
By the splinters of
Change
And that I would rather
Wear the fringe
Of experience
And lick my wound
Till it scarred
Than never
Not know
I want invite you
To bring your brush to my painting
And in turn
I’ll let you run your fingers run along my edges
And swim in my abstract
Alongside my currents of color
And just for a moment
You will forget
That you are the one
Bringing me
To life
That you are the author
Listening for the words
As you look to the sky
Waiting for them to rain
In the buckets you’ve left out
And always promising
To fix that hole
In your roof.
That you thought
You could thatch
By dipping into my eyes
And glimpsing my mother
In the intensity
That burns you alive
And just for a moment
I will remember
That you are the one
Bringing me
To life
As I whisper my request
Freedom.
Even if it means
You will no longer
Let in
The Rai
To remember
That there
Are
Other ways to
Be
I’m learning how to recall
And know for myself,
This,
That my blanket of
Security
Is weaved together
By millions of moments
Yearning
To be cut
By the splinters of
Change
And that I would rather
Wear the fringe
Of experience
And lick my wound
Till it scarred
Than never
Not know
I want invite you
To bring your brush to my painting
And in turn
I’ll let you run your fingers run along my edges
And swim in my abstract
Alongside my currents of color
And just for a moment
You will forget
That you are the one
Bringing me
To life
That you are the author
Listening for the words
As you look to the sky
Waiting for them to rain
In the buckets you’ve left out
And always promising
To fix that hole
In your roof.
That you thought
You could thatch
By dipping into my eyes
And glimpsing my mother
In the intensity
That burns you alive
And just for a moment
I will remember
That you are the one
Bringing me
To life
As I whisper my request
Freedom.
Even if it means
You will no longer
Let in
The Rai
Real Facts
“We’re here” comes from the drivers seat as we pull in front of the airlines, and I slowly finger my seatbelt, wanting to draw it out for just a moment. Mekila, eager, jumps out of the front passenger seat and grabs his luggage out of the trunk. And then all three of us, Kalani, Mekila and I are standing under those unflattering white lights, where you just cant hide and I feel even more see through than usual.
Mekila reaches down to hoist first his bulging backpack over his thin frame and then struggles for a moment to fit his guitar case over that. “No I have to get used to doing it myself,” he refuses when Kalani, steps forward to give a hand, and so we both wait until his packs are securely in place.
I step forward first and since my arms are just not big enough to encircle all the way around his body and bulging back, I grab the sides of his coat and we hold each other close. I cry then in the neck of his wool sweater as my baby brother whispers all the reasons why he’s proud of me. Our chests are pressed tight and I can feel his heart beating so fast it flutters into mine, and then it’s Kalani’s turn.
I’m worried, scared and so proud in that fierce way that I can only imagine a mother could feel. It hurts so good. My baby brother is stepping out, into the world at large. No destination, just $1000, his guitar and one backpack, with all his belongings.
These are real facts, and because of this I need one more hug. I need to remember the strength of his hands. I need to remember the feel of his heart, pulse sparked on the unknown. And because these are real facts, I can let go.
Mekila reaches down to hoist first his bulging backpack over his thin frame and then struggles for a moment to fit his guitar case over that. “No I have to get used to doing it myself,” he refuses when Kalani, steps forward to give a hand, and so we both wait until his packs are securely in place.
I step forward first and since my arms are just not big enough to encircle all the way around his body and bulging back, I grab the sides of his coat and we hold each other close. I cry then in the neck of his wool sweater as my baby brother whispers all the reasons why he’s proud of me. Our chests are pressed tight and I can feel his heart beating so fast it flutters into mine, and then it’s Kalani’s turn.
I’m worried, scared and so proud in that fierce way that I can only imagine a mother could feel. It hurts so good. My baby brother is stepping out, into the world at large. No destination, just $1000, his guitar and one backpack, with all his belongings.
These are real facts, and because of this I need one more hug. I need to remember the strength of his hands. I need to remember the feel of his heart, pulse sparked on the unknown. And because these are real facts, I can let go.
What We Offer
We offer our love
Wrapped in shame
Expecting to be set Free
By another
We look at each other
One eye steady
While the other
Blinks feathered streaks
Of grief
Stop!
This is not the way
Start again Here
In the un-comfort
Of your own
Bone marrow and skin
Now
In the shade
Of your own
Pain
Start again
Today is the day
There is no other way
And the world will not change
For you
Tear it down!
Peel, strip, shed
Tear it off!
Shame, guilt, remorse
Tear
Into the pit
Of your Stomach
That growls
For praise and approval
Start again
Here
Shudder In the un-comfort
Of your self
Small and un-forgiven
She
Is
You
And Now
Steep in the potential
Of your own
Growth
Bring action!
Observer,
Walk back
To yourself
In
To yourself
Revel in
Your capabilities
They extend
Past your walls
Offer
Your love
Free of charge
Offer
Your love
Stand bare. Exposed
Offer your love .
Wrapped in shame
Expecting to be set Free
By another
We look at each other
One eye steady
While the other
Blinks feathered streaks
Of grief
Stop!
This is not the way
Start again Here
In the un-comfort
Of your own
Bone marrow and skin
Now
In the shade
Of your own
Pain
Start again
Today is the day
There is no other way
And the world will not change
For you
Tear it down!
Peel, strip, shed
Tear it off!
Shame, guilt, remorse
Tear
Into the pit
Of your Stomach
That growls
For praise and approval
Start again
Here
Shudder In the un-comfort
Of your self
Small and un-forgiven
She
Is
You
And Now
Steep in the potential
Of your own
Growth
Bring action!
Observer,
Walk back
To yourself
In
To yourself
Revel in
Your capabilities
They extend
Past your walls
Offer
Your love
Free of charge
Offer
Your love
Stand bare. Exposed
Offer your love .
The Dirt Road Is Home
I love
Waking up on Thursday mornings
To the scratch of his chin on my back
And when there’s a breeze
We are wrapped in India
With a little one on either
Ocean
Tree on tree
And the smell
Of love baking
I love
The fire
Of sun to sea
That leaves me
Falling
And all I can smell
Is a dirt road
Waking up grass
With snow on the ground
And the slow sound
Of wood, Red
When I wake
In a circle
She is holding me
And when it is morning
She gave me roses
Carved in wood
And all I could feel
Was a dirt road
Calling me home
I awoke
With snow on the ground
And the slow sound
Of wood, Red
I rose out of comfort
To be alive
To climb my towers
Of leaves and sticks
Tree on tree
To find a better view
Of our limbs
Changing
Now wrinkled
I wish I’d pressed them
Green
We are dying
And I can hear
A dirt road
Calling me home
In the fleeting
We call our symphony
I leave my reverence
In She
I choose to track
My sun home
Watching the horizon
Cry goodbye
I was asleep today
And when I awoke
Eyes closed
Head to feathers
I was in a circle
Walking
My dirt road
Home.
Waking up on Thursday mornings
To the scratch of his chin on my back
And when there’s a breeze
We are wrapped in India
With a little one on either
Ocean
Tree on tree
And the smell
Of love baking
I love
The fire
Of sun to sea
That leaves me
Falling
And all I can smell
Is a dirt road
Waking up grass
With snow on the ground
And the slow sound
Of wood, Red
When I wake
In a circle
She is holding me
And when it is morning
She gave me roses
Carved in wood
And all I could feel
Was a dirt road
Calling me home
I awoke
With snow on the ground
And the slow sound
Of wood, Red
I rose out of comfort
To be alive
To climb my towers
Of leaves and sticks
Tree on tree
To find a better view
Of our limbs
Changing
Now wrinkled
I wish I’d pressed them
Green
We are dying
And I can hear
A dirt road
Calling me home
In the fleeting
We call our symphony
I leave my reverence
In She
I choose to track
My sun home
Watching the horizon
Cry goodbye
I was asleep today
And when I awoke
Eyes closed
Head to feathers
I was in a circle
Walking
My dirt road
Home.
That's Right
We like in America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, The Consumer, The Obese.
Call it what you like. It doesn’t change the fact that We live here.
I live here.
You live here.
That’s right, We!
We right here, right now lend ourselves to the collective called America. What are
you doing about that?
Are you denying?
Are you ashamed?
Are you doing nothing, saying nothing as you sew Canadian flags across your back
and stomach over your mouth?
Are you crying, “oppressed, silenced!” to your smart phone?
Are you fulfilled when it brings up facebook?
Now hold on just a moment before you start feeling defensive, before I go on you
should know this.
I point these words at myself first.
I ask you to hold me accountable.
I live here.
I am American, Canadian too for the record, but that doesn’t matter, because I live
here, in America – Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, The Consumer, The Obese.
Once upon a time I was proud to pledge allegiance to the flag. But now?!
Now,
I am ashamed that this country is blind
I deny
I do nothing
I say nothing, because that would be taking Responsibility in The home of The
Brave.
So, I ask you comrades, to look at me, measure my worth, hold me accountable.
I am looking forward.
I want to be an American, who knows another language, another culture.
I want to be an American who changed the ideals from consuming to knowing, Just Enough.
I want to be an American who travels not as a tourist but as a local.
I want to be an American who shares with lowered eyes of respect, because no one, not even us, encompasses another’s Truth.
And then
I want to forget everything that I just said.
I don’t want to be all of these things just because I am an American.
I want to be these things because it is the way to BE.
I want to forget that there are small dotted lines in our minds separating countries,
color and creed.
That’s right, in our minds!
We live here
I live here
That’s right, WE. We right here, right now, lend out selves to the collective called
The World. What are you doing about that?
Are you denying?
Are you ashamed?
Are you doing nothing, saying nothing as someone burns their plastic, because that
would be rude?
Hold me accountable!
Get Defensive!
Get Angry!
I am looking forward.
Call it what you like. It doesn’t change the fact that We live here.
I live here.
You live here.
That’s right, We!
We right here, right now lend ourselves to the collective called America. What are
you doing about that?
Are you denying?
Are you ashamed?
Are you doing nothing, saying nothing as you sew Canadian flags across your back
and stomach over your mouth?
Are you crying, “oppressed, silenced!” to your smart phone?
Are you fulfilled when it brings up facebook?
Now hold on just a moment before you start feeling defensive, before I go on you
should know this.
I point these words at myself first.
I ask you to hold me accountable.
I live here.
I am American, Canadian too for the record, but that doesn’t matter, because I live
here, in America – Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, The Consumer, The Obese.
Once upon a time I was proud to pledge allegiance to the flag. But now?!
Now,
I am ashamed that this country is blind
I deny
I do nothing
I say nothing, because that would be taking Responsibility in The home of The
Brave.
So, I ask you comrades, to look at me, measure my worth, hold me accountable.
I am looking forward.
I want to be an American, who knows another language, another culture.
I want to be an American who changed the ideals from consuming to knowing, Just Enough.
I want to be an American who travels not as a tourist but as a local.
I want to be an American who shares with lowered eyes of respect, because no one, not even us, encompasses another’s Truth.
And then
I want to forget everything that I just said.
I don’t want to be all of these things just because I am an American.
I want to be these things because it is the way to BE.
I want to forget that there are small dotted lines in our minds separating countries,
color and creed.
That’s right, in our minds!
We live here
I live here
That’s right, WE. We right here, right now, lend out selves to the collective called
The World. What are you doing about that?
Are you denying?
Are you ashamed?
Are you doing nothing, saying nothing as someone burns their plastic, because that
would be rude?
Hold me accountable!
Get Defensive!
Get Angry!
I am looking forward.
You Must
Life, it’s messy,
like two tongues meeting for the first time.
So listen up, I have something to tell you, and I don’t like wasting my breath.
Simply because you are human, you need to know this;
You matter.
And not in that sappy way your mother was obligated to say.
You, energy that has taken form
You matter.
There's something Big happening in the world right now and I don’t like it!
People! So many people!
Not looking, looking but not seeing, seeing but not believing,
And then finally the worst, pretending to believe, but upon second glance…
So anyways, I believe. There's a bigger picture here, it extends past the boundries you think you don’t believe in.
Lets take a closer look
At the way we position our cups, our purses.
I don’t even have to think about the careful way I set my form next to yours,
That’s how built in these boundries are.
And I’m telling you, women, it’s bigger than this!
I believe the missing link is
We are not understanding, the importance of the power of our humanity.
Feel free to take notes, because I want you to remember.
You matter!
I dare you to go to war with yourself.
Utilize the anger from your father, and the lost passion from our mothers.
Eat a man for breakfast,
Spit him out at lunch.
Don’t have a man,
Ride a bicycle
Hard
Till your thighs burn.
Tell you secrets to a flower
And walk away.
Were all hurting, so hold out your hand
Share the hope that has kept you here.
Dance naked so that you may feel the weight of your woman,
Please
You, energy that taken form
Set yourself Free!
So that the next time someone asks
The dreaded question “how are you?”
You have the fierceness to look them in the eye.
You have the truth to share.
They want to know
I want to know.
I want to know that you believe that
You Matter!
like two tongues meeting for the first time.
So listen up, I have something to tell you, and I don’t like wasting my breath.
Simply because you are human, you need to know this;
You matter.
And not in that sappy way your mother was obligated to say.
You, energy that has taken form
You matter.
There's something Big happening in the world right now and I don’t like it!
People! So many people!
Not looking, looking but not seeing, seeing but not believing,
And then finally the worst, pretending to believe, but upon second glance…
So anyways, I believe. There's a bigger picture here, it extends past the boundries you think you don’t believe in.
Lets take a closer look
At the way we position our cups, our purses.
I don’t even have to think about the careful way I set my form next to yours,
That’s how built in these boundries are.
And I’m telling you, women, it’s bigger than this!
I believe the missing link is
We are not understanding, the importance of the power of our humanity.
Feel free to take notes, because I want you to remember.
You matter!
I dare you to go to war with yourself.
Utilize the anger from your father, and the lost passion from our mothers.
Eat a man for breakfast,
Spit him out at lunch.
Don’t have a man,
Ride a bicycle
Hard
Till your thighs burn.
Tell you secrets to a flower
And walk away.
Were all hurting, so hold out your hand
Share the hope that has kept you here.
Dance naked so that you may feel the weight of your woman,
Please
You, energy that taken form
Set yourself Free!
So that the next time someone asks
The dreaded question “how are you?”
You have the fierceness to look them in the eye.
You have the truth to share.
They want to know
I want to know.
I want to know that you believe that
You Matter!
I Am Your Queen
Sometimes
I want to be bound
And
Feel the pressure
Of my breasts tied down
But then I’ll hear the whisper
Of your winds on my hips
And when I hold out my hands
I feel rain
Delicate boned fingers
Feather soft
Bloom my color
I am hand painted
And in the waking day
I reflect of our evening spun
Webs that drip with the dew of our
Words
Smoke heavy
Threaded through the air
I am barefoot Eve
Muddy deep
Petal soft
Honey suckled exotics
Bloom my scent
Earth
On a sunny day
Chocolate warm
And because of this
You arrive
By foot
To kiss my erotic
Mi Schatezli
To blind me with the
Sundial
Of your eyes
To witness me
Wide
Unblinking
To bare my leaves
Strip my bark
Water my roots
Climb my limbs
Storm this soul
For I shall survive
I know no other way
Inhale me in the crevice
Of your C shaped form
And I’ll exhale your heat into the
Knot
That is our fingers
Let me taste your dreams
On the palate of my tongue
Doe shy, panther cold
I’ve arrived
Mi Schatezli
The Ocean
Has lent me her waves
Salty sprays
Sea shelled navel
Umbilical
I’ve arrived
Mi Schatezli
Kneel
I am your Queen
I want to be bound
And
Feel the pressure
Of my breasts tied down
But then I’ll hear the whisper
Of your winds on my hips
And when I hold out my hands
I feel rain
Delicate boned fingers
Feather soft
Bloom my color
I am hand painted
And in the waking day
I reflect of our evening spun
Webs that drip with the dew of our
Words
Smoke heavy
Threaded through the air
I am barefoot Eve
Muddy deep
Petal soft
Honey suckled exotics
Bloom my scent
Earth
On a sunny day
Chocolate warm
And because of this
You arrive
By foot
To kiss my erotic
Mi Schatezli
To blind me with the
Sundial
Of your eyes
To witness me
Wide
Unblinking
To bare my leaves
Strip my bark
Water my roots
Climb my limbs
Storm this soul
For I shall survive
I know no other way
Inhale me in the crevice
Of your C shaped form
And I’ll exhale your heat into the
Knot
That is our fingers
Let me taste your dreams
On the palate of my tongue
Doe shy, panther cold
I’ve arrived
Mi Schatezli
The Ocean
Has lent me her waves
Salty sprays
Sea shelled navel
Umbilical
I’ve arrived
Mi Schatezli
Kneel
I am your Queen
Jessica
You and I
Hand to hand
Mirror
These eyes, wash your lies ashore
Leaving scents for
One another
Girls in heat
Territories toes
Your smell brings salt to my eyes
Strong, pungent
Sickly sweet
To the point of
Soured
I want to kick you
Ripe
Breasts, tended for the picking
Your heart
Round in my bed
Lust
In my feathers
I want to
Hang you
Body with clothes
Slip you on for a day
Sun to stars
You’re in my flow
Eight red moons time
Fingers that bring your mouth
To my cup
Sip me bitter
You’ve licked my mother’s plate
Barren
Feet to my prints
Heel on foundation
But don’t you see
These hands are
Cemented
To what you crave
Weep for the love you offer
Trespasser
Your shallowed waters are murky
Dream of my
Widowed peak to my pillow
Wake to call me
To wonder of our hands braided
We sit here, across
Loud in our silence
Bring me your ear if you dare!
Throat unclenched
Tongue let wild
Blister, callouse
Desert soul
Parched
Let the storm
Fill your hollows
And aching reservoirs
Drink from your well
Not of mine
Knock at the door with colour of your own
And now, we are paralled
Equaled in stance
Come
Stand among my forests
On paths of respect
And in return
Ill blow a rippled wind
Softened by
Forgiveness
Hand to hand
Mirror
These eyes, wash your lies ashore
Leaving scents for
One another
Girls in heat
Territories toes
Your smell brings salt to my eyes
Strong, pungent
Sickly sweet
To the point of
Soured
I want to kick you
Ripe
Breasts, tended for the picking
Your heart
Round in my bed
Lust
In my feathers
I want to
Hang you
Body with clothes
Slip you on for a day
Sun to stars
You’re in my flow
Eight red moons time
Fingers that bring your mouth
To my cup
Sip me bitter
You’ve licked my mother’s plate
Barren
Feet to my prints
Heel on foundation
But don’t you see
These hands are
Cemented
To what you crave
Weep for the love you offer
Trespasser
Your shallowed waters are murky
Dream of my
Widowed peak to my pillow
Wake to call me
To wonder of our hands braided
We sit here, across
Loud in our silence
Bring me your ear if you dare!
Throat unclenched
Tongue let wild
Blister, callouse
Desert soul
Parched
Let the storm
Fill your hollows
And aching reservoirs
Drink from your well
Not of mine
Knock at the door with colour of your own
And now, we are paralled
Equaled in stance
Come
Stand among my forests
On paths of respect
And in return
Ill blow a rippled wind
Softened by
Forgiveness
