At The Window by Adam

There's a moment
When you face
The pointlessness of it
And you just 
Stop
You run out of
Gas
You just don't give a fuck
Anymore
So you 
Close the computer
Turn off the light switch
Stand at
The window
Watching 
The fog 
Breathe in to obscure 
The darkness
You imagine your alternate lives
Lives in which you aren't so 
Comfortable
With your 
Comfortable home 
And your
Loving wife
Lives in which you 
Struggle with 
Depression and
Loneliness and
Failure
Lives in which you 
Drive reckless and
Drink remorseless and
Dance with abandon
Closing down 
The bars 
Drunk, driving, 
Home
To your shared 
Apartment with
Furniture picked up off 
The street
Hoping your friends won't 
Get married
Have kids
Pay taxes
Leave you
Here
Lives in which you 
Wander aimless through
The streets and
The bars 
Of La Serena
Not knowing a lick of 
Spanish
Not knowing that
The woman
Calling you muy lindo is
A prostitute
Who follows you into
The street
Telling a sad story about
Her son 
In Coquimbo
It's late can I come home with you
So you pay her 20,000 pesos 
So she won't follow you 
Home
Avoiding the wary packs of 
Dogs
Who shit and sleep on 
The street
With the 
Dirty men in 
The darkness
You eat only 
Toast and 
Yogurt
Kept in the communal kitchen
Because you are 
Too poor or 
Too cheap 
To pay for 
A meal
Instead she pays for 
A meal 
And introduces you to 
Her daughter
Who already has a teenage 
Son 
Even though she isn't 30 years old yet
Hoping you will do
The right thing and
The gringo thing and
Marry her away from this 
Dirty town
Maybe that was the way it was supposed to go
But instead
As it turns out 
You are
Comfortable
With your
Comfortable home 
And your
Loving wife
Staring out 
The window
Watching 
The fog 
Breathe in to obscure 
The darkness