Time just keeps ticking on by. Good, bad? I've given up trying to decide. She's growing up. I'm absent.
Tick fucking tock. I'll never have these days back. Tears drop, wrinkles form. The pain never wanes. I'm sad. I'm stuck. I just want it to end. I'm alive, yet buried. The weight of it leaves me breathless. Mystery, madness? It's all twisted and torn through my gut. Broken and blistered. Wounds that seem to keep getting infected. I'm blind. I'm dumb. I forgotten who I am.
Tick fucking tock. Pieces of me hanging on a fragile line. Shame’s bleeding regret. I don't know how to fix this. Disappointment. Desire. Duality draws my blood. Despair. Deceit. Everything's exposed to the light. Hiding in shadows. Frailties became my newest relative. Disempowerment reappears. The veils have fallen to my feet. Naked and vulnerable. I'd like to run rampant through the streets. Deadly gaze. It's lonely when no one understands. Viciousness and violence. They rip and tear at each for entertainment. Fight or flight. Have to, if I want self-preservation.
Tick fucking tock. It's beating beneath my throbbing temples. Resistance persists. And sufferings the rhythm of my theme song. Bullied. Guards. I traded my dignity to be an animal. Seething and sweaty my rage bubbles beneath my scarred skin.
Tick fucking tock. It looks like they've lost the key. Fear pierces peace. I shudder at the black thought. My roles have been declared redundant. Heartache blisters. I'm fading onto the back burner. No one can relate. My island keeps shrinking below the sea. I once felt noble, now I grovel for toilet paper.
Tick fucking tock. I want what I can't have back. Tears through twisted whispers. A little girl’s world has become tainted through loss. Perseverance pricks promises. I'm in reverence of a sky through a cage. Dismembered. Bruised. I yearn to feel whole again. A mothers love. Unlimited yet restricted access. I miss my mom. Africa's worlds away from a jail cell. Tenderness and tantrums. Thrown in a coffin to tussle it out. Forgiveness. Calm seas. Need sex. Damnation dirt. Faithful heart. Delusional. Wounded. Calcified tears. Tortured dreams. Victorious whistles.
Tick fucking tock. I'm squinting through the forest of my fears, I'll be home soon.