Or maybe I hid it from myself under a twist in the road that changed my mind. And that's an esoteric synopses, the long version of the story is too confusing and rabbit hole even for me to tell myself. So I'll spare its names and occult meanings here, for now anyway. But I want my mystical back, at least the part that is genuine and rooted in Truth somewhere in the cosmos. And maybe it's been bathing in an underground thermal waterway, washing off the foo-foo and unattainable rainbows I'd woven in. Or maybe it fled me when I took on the belief that rainbows are unattainable and meant to be seen as a scientific event, not a sign of high fortune or blessing... He was only trying to encourage my mystical when he gave me the prophecies and riddles of ancient pantheon. But I took my mystical under my arm and dove too deep. In the end it made my ears hurt from the depth I took it to and I had to come to the surface gasping for air and reality. I stayed there in the shallows then, for fear of the depths. And in an effort to make it all not matter, I think that's when my mystical evaporated. Perhaps it didn't disappear all together. I feel its life force still hovers and sends me a sparkle or a cosmic sprinkle from time to time. And yet, I want my mystical to be back, refreshed and renewed in a crystalline clarity like Herkimer diamonds. Even Herkimer diamonds used to hold and share my mystical with me, in its hermetic spaces that only Mystics know. But when the fairy tale clock struck midnight, it was just another pretty rock. My oracles - my precious, precise oracles - maybe they are my ace in the whole and they can conjure the mystical back into my dreamtime and alive in my waking, inspiring once again, belief in deeper meaning.
Perhaps that's where we'll resynchronize - me, my mystical and I.