It might only be a few minutes but there is something so sticky about it,
so all encompassing, permanent
that when I open my eyes a bit wider and see a different perspective, there is a relief that falls over me that it isn't all that bad.
Take the last few hours, our how-awesome-that-it's-a-direct-flight-to-LA-during-the-day-so-I-can-sleep-in-a-real-bed-tonight gets mechanical problems and we end up getting rerouted to Honolulu for hours and now am on a red-eye.
I didn't even realize how much this bothered me till I got on the phone with Doug and my voice starts cracking, eyes watering as I allow the disappointment and challenging adjustment to this new inconvenient plan sink in.
Interesting how the familiar voice of a loved one, sets the emotions free.
Whereas, only moments ago, I was holding it together, feeling mild annoyance at this new course. I was holding it together without realizing it.
Even as my emotions were taking over, on the other end with my sweetie, I could see the bigger picture, as Doug says better to see the problem now then half over the Pacific.
True, it's like I should be counting my blessings. I let myself grieve for those few minutes, feeling the weight of what a poor night's sleep could do to me tomorrow and then see how it's really not so bad.
And if I can get myself to just the now, a constant reminder and practice, I can recognize laying on the airport floor with my legs straight up in the air (some pseudo yoga or something) with the other unfortunate folks playing their gameboys or keeping their children entertained, I am ok.
Oh, heck, I could say even content.