explaining away his eyes.
They drift through fog to my soft cleavage,
landing wet with bristles on my thighs.
I can't explain the future now
unless I plan to lie.
I can't complain or astonish
without my fingers twirling.
I know a secret about us all.
I know everybody wants to die.
This might surprise the right to lifers
and tourists out on walks.
This might surprise the church pew sitters
and surfers out on rocks.
This might surprise the I'm a surviver
or ladies on spa day.
I've seen the trees that catch up to each other
despite the wind and sun.
I've seen the place they make the dirt
and weathers made in Hana.
I've seen the secret about us all.
Not sure who's ready to hear it.
So I eat my soup in bed and cry at night
to sort out cards I keep shuffled on the ledge.
The place I sat a long time past
where tar stuck to my bottom.
I can't complain because I know the secret thing.
It doesn't matter that rainbows fly
when I pull them on a string.
It never mattered if he came or stayed
because our hold is tight.
It might matter if he had walked away
instead of staying for the fight.
And now what matters is climbing up the wall.
We watch together and wonder what would happen
should we make that fall.
I'm here to say I have survived
confusing all my lessons.
I love his hair and belly too
and lines around his eyes.
I love the grey and patches gone
and I love the way he smiles.
Despite the tales that turned the lies
into stories late at night.
I know the secrets true,
before we can live,
we need to die,