We both have the day off. He wants to go get plant starts for the garden...mind you, on his day off. He made breakfast, washed the dishes then laid with me on the tuffet and laughed until we went through all the pictures from that funny Facebook album. Not once did he seem like he wanted to do something else or be somewhere else. He wants to be with me. I mean, I’m bossy, I’m fat...well, fat enough that I don’t feel like having sex with him all the time, like when we first met. And I’m so annoying. I even annoy myself. But still...he wants to be with me. He wants to cook for me, build, paint and laugh with me.
So what do I do with this? Where do I put it? In my heart? Yeah, probably...that’s gonna be the safest place for it...but sometimes, it feels like the negative side of a magnet...you know like, the things you want to put in there slide off to the side a bit and don’t seem to find their way in. I know there’s room but it’s hard to fit all that love he gives me, into that enormous chasm with that teeeeeny, tiny entrance.
Sleeping breathing sounds different than awake breathing.
We’re kind of broke this month. I wonder what we’re going to have for dinner? I should have some kind of salad. Lentils and quinoa, probably. So I can get over the guilt of eating the frosting off the chocolate cake after that last thing I wrote. And again, Yuck! Maybe just a little cheese?
Hope it rains later. I love our house in the rain.
We put up curtains yesterday. He laughed when he saw the spray paint on my hands from retouching the Frisbee we use as a compost lid. Oddly, I’m excited about getting rid of all our matching mugs for a more interesting mismatched set.
I just heard him roll over.
How long this will last? Last night the other couples were talking about their problems and making cliché relationship jokes. My one friend openly tells us he’ll never marry his girlfriend of 2 years as she sits next to him smiling and maintaining eye contact with the group. They talked about how hard it is to stay friends with someone you married for a green card. And how a kid really steals the romance and common courtesy from being in love.
He tried to cuddle up to me again. I yell “NO!! You can’t read it!” He said he doesn’t want to. He says Fine! He teases and says that when he gets back from the liquor store with the 40’s, we’re going to watch football and then go for a run.
It’s probably not going to rain today.