This morning, my husband wouldn’t leave me alone. He was insistent that I had 10 minutes to come outside. I, of course, wanted to know exactly what I would be doing and why it had to be now. He doesn’t say much in general, and even less when I ask these kinds of questions. “Just come,” he says. So I do, half-heartedly. I roll out of bed with a blanket still wrapped around my shoulders, trailing unevenly behind me in the dirt. My head is tilted to the side and my eyes looking up at him and we walk down the stairs towards the newest planting. I ask a few more questions, without answer, still dragging my fleece blanket. I’m sure he wants to show me how he has carefully planted some avocado trees and mulched them just so, and so I already have my response, prepared to gently stroke his ego about what nice work he is doing for us here. But we walk by the planting and up the hill and over to the papaya grove. Ok, I’m thinking, maybe he inter-planted some new trees here. I look into the zone and don’t recognize anything new. I ask a few more questions, and he just smiles. I’m annoyed. Kind of frustrated. What the hell are we doing out here? I am not seeing what he’s wanting me to see. I don’t get it. He is still smiling, knowing how I can be when I don’t know what is going on. When I don’t get my way. “PLeeeeease,” I beg, “PLeeeeeeease tell me what we are doing out here?!??!” Still silent, he sits me down, and puts my hands on the earth. He smiles again and walks away. I don’t follow him. I know I can’t, but I don’t know why.
An hour later were having breakfast and I feel grateful and soft and not sure why. I am a nature lover. I am an activist. I know the earth and care for her. I am, I am, I am, I am so many labels, that I lose touch with being any of them. So often caught in the next thing, that I miss my own hands placed on the earth. I miss the abundant love pouring out of the dirt, saying yes to my life. Thanks to my traveling blanket, my husband so unwilling to feed my wild mind, and the precious moment always available to me, I had a small awakened opening this morning.