to exhaust my body
to ring out my heart and drip sweat down my back and chest
weave in and out of other bodies doing the same thing.
Sweating Moving Smelling
Being together in the beats.
Moving my fingers and toes.
Moving my teeth and hair.
Opening and closing
my eyes my pores my muscles my nostrils
Bring on the rain. Close the doors.
I can't rid myself of your smel.
Why did you plant it in my nose?
I can't sneeze you out of me.
There's no wind today. No wind in the palm trees or grass. None in my T-shirt or mind blowing my thoughts around like scrapes of promises. Bring on the wind. It was my friend after all. Please don't leave me stirring in the quiet where stillness takes me inward like a suffocation I can't escape. I'd like to stop thinking.
I know, I'll turn on the fans and let them stir me, a fake wind pretending to be polite.
I want to be rude. Dismissing the idiot.
What's happening to me?
Why do I walk past the same aloe plant letting it scrape me like a crippled old woman at my legs? Fuck me.
Look at all the precious choking jewels sparkling me into submission, glaring traitors requiring my surrender, teasing my grateful side, taunting the selfish place where my heart is heavy
with parting with separation with detachment.
You left. And you and you and you. All of you are gone. You keep leaving.
Repeating my father repeating my mother my son my dogs and cats and friends and neighbors and cities and states.
I'm here with a tongue too large for its cave making it hard to swallow.
Hips stirring the air wanting to dance in bed.
My nose releasing sneeze after sneeze while pretending to be happy.
I am split up.