ribs cracking against concrete floors,
pain that explodes up against tear-filled hearts and broken dreams,
screams shatter illusions around mundane simple joy.
I fear I'll never feel peace again,
touch her cheek and wipe her tears into tomorrow's tragedy,
as I stay too far away from her comfort and hugs.
My jaw trembles with each memory and thought of her smile,
her play, her broken heart-
I let the most important crystal ball crash into millions of irreparable pieces.
I fear I'll never forgive myself - this wave of suffering that I caused too many cherished hearts. Dreams bring escape for only a few lovely moments,
leaving sobs and stains where my head rests for short spurts.
I am awakened each and every time to the harsh reality that slams my swollen face
and shaking heart into terror.
Yesterday's regret swallows today's fleeting hope.
Will I ever enjoy another dreamy Maui day outside of these barbed brutality
and pounded walls of hate?
My lovers golden eyes and devoted promises are all I feel beneath these broken wings,
together with the gift of Hannah's flourishing life and her precious song of strength and courage.
I pray they carry me to the other side where I can be free of this torture and agony.