Granted, it's taken a lot of work to get to this place and I've expanded my perspective to a broad place where I understand our relationships at a soul level. From this vantage point, I can fully accept my mothers alcoholism and dissociation. She is a lost soul who has had many painful experiences that have caused many more and they are so heavy, it would take her a great amount of courage to move through them and become free. I see that she is not likely to do that in this lifetime and she is choosing to die in small increments until she is finally free. I love her as much as one can love someone who has no love for themselves and I accept her, recognizing that I can't change her and lamenting her inability to heal only hurts me. And my daughter.
I wonder how my daughter will become, living this blessed life in paradise. I hope that my seeking and learning and growing will show her possibilities and inspire her to seek more for herself. I hope that she won't need heavy pain to inspire her to reach higher. I hope that she can piggyback on the work I've done and become even brighter than I can imagine for myself.