to be put to the ultimate test in your character, have your limits tested in unfathomable ways?
How about taking on the biggest challenge of your life with no instruction of how to do it….one
that will bring up all the fucked up parenting from your childhood and require you to put it all into
action in your own unique way? Well I have the perfect solution for you, become a parent!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in a pregnant body and experience the
miracle of life growing within you? Explore the areas of pregnancy discomforts that range from
anxiety, to sciatica to restless leg syndrome, leg cramps to digestive disturbances like heartburn
and consitpation? Try pregnancy !
Have you ever been curious about what it would be like to shit a bowling ball out of your ass?
Do you ever wonder how far your vagina can stretch or tear? Are you curious about the feeling
of being blasted open, hit by a truck and then left with a new born baby to take care of?
Experience childbirth !
Are you interested in seeing what its like to have a special kind of sleeplessness, a unique kind
of insomnia, the kind where just when you fall asleep you are awakened? The kind that some
nights its akin to sleep torture, and it goes on for months and months and years and years?
Experience parenting !
Are you curious about having a constant mess around you? How about Having items that are
important to you, always targeted and often ruined by a small terrorist called a child? Or simple
things like sticky fingerprints everywhere in you house? Try having a Kid!!
Would you like to have your social life disturbed and potentially vanished? Or how about having
your friends without kids quietly judging you and sometimes offering their advice as you fumble
as a person with kids in the modern world…. Have children!
So come! Join the millions of overwhelmed people that have pushed, popped, adopted,
surgically delivered, miraculously slipped out a child into this world! Become part of this unique
work force where you get NO salary and there is no such thing as paid sick leave, in fact YOU
actually have to pay to do all the work! AND there are no guarantees that the kid you raise will
even be a contributing member of society ! So do away with the birth control, just bust that load
during an ovulation cycle and BOOM, join the insanity, initiate yourself into the wild, wacky world
of PARENTING !!!